Connecting with our anger in
productive ways occurs when we enquire of our annoyances whilst we still easily
bear them.
At a highly piqued
awareness—perhaps we could call it pre-frustration—we have not waited until the
pot is about to boil over. We watch that pot, which is our propensity to flare
into a rage, closely, and we monitor it in order to learn from it.
We watch it so that we can learn,
for wisdom comes from being a student of one’s self, and not just as a student
of life and of other people. God wants us interrogating our own psyches.
Anger can teach us much, but
frustration and annoyances even more.
It’s better to pay careful
attention to the activators of our anger which manifest through feelings of our
frustration and annoyance.
Exploring Our Personal and Interpersonal
Frustration
We might wonder if we’ve ever taken
the time to write a list of the things that annoy us. When we have such
knowledge we can ask ourselves, why?
Forearmed is forewarned, they say,
and knowing the things that drive us to distraction—and, more importantly why—helps us manage our frustration and
it gives us better control over our anger.
The question of why can be
intriguing or even frustrating of its own accord if we don’t know why. But we
will never know unless we ask the question and explore it within our minds and
even within conversations with other people—“why does this/that frustrate me?”
“Does it frustrate others, similarly?” “Is it a problem to be frustrated by
this?” “What are the consequences of this frustration?” “Is there potential
that I could blow my top?”
These are all important questions,
but the most important question is always why.
Accepting That We Will Have Frustrations
Once we have a good understanding
of what frustrations we have, and why it is we have these frustrations, we can
set about doing what work we can to manage them.
Part of this workload is coming to
a healthy acceptance that we will have frustrations.
Further than this, as thinking and
feeling persons, with personalities quite unique, we will have views based on
the values and beliefs we hold dear. Frustrations emanate out of these, but we
should be conscious of them.
***
The frustrations that occur that
we are not conscious of, regarding the why, are the ones we want to
understand—these might speak to our character flaws; those things we don’t like
about ourselves; those things that other people incite from within us in
manifest anger for the things we can’t seem to change about ourselves.
***
Being aware of what frustrates us
and why is a good thing. Frustrations, when we learn about them, and why we
have them, can help us by converting our anger energies into healthier
responses. Frustrations and annoyances can be useful early warnings to prevent
full-blown rage.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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