“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
—Luke 6:31 (NRSV)
The basic science of human
interaction is a complicated art. It seems simple but there are many barriers
that get in the way. There are barriers within us, as there are barriers within
the other person. Some barriers are situational, whilst other barriers we
struggle with all our lives.
But gaining a rapport,
establishing a moment of friendly intimacy, is not that difficult.
If we are able to achieve one
moment of genuine connection with another person, we are able to achieve many
of these. It all depends on how vulnerable we are in their presence, and how
vulnerable they allow themselves to be in ours.
Opening up through Being Vulnerable
It is a big misnomer that we are
weak if we show vulnerability. No, if we are intentionally vulnerable we show admirable
strength. And we are not vulnerable just for the sake of it, we are vulnerable
to invite others’ vulnerability—we
trust them with our vulnerability so they might trust us with theirs.
This is the only way an intimate
relationship may be formed. And let’s just get this straight; Jesus desired
that we would be willing and available for others, appreciating that we often
want others willing and available for us.
The issue of vulnerability is an
important one. We cannot expect somebody else to be vulnerable—to be available
to be in effective relationship—unless we model the behaviour. When we do to
others what we wish them to do to us, it starts from us.
And we have to understand that
being vulnerable won’t be repaid in kind all the time or even most of the time.
But we need to be willing to show the strength of character in the will to
relate. We cannot turn such a thing on and off. It needs to be part of our
basic modus operandi in all our interactions—besides where it would be openly
abused.
Achieving ‘a Moment’
A moment, in this speak, is a
moment that is transformed by the power of God; where a momentary bond between
two people is achieved through common trust and respect. Upon such a moment we
note the Presence of God.
Achieving a moment such as this
goes beyond all cultural norms and enters the realm of Divinity. We go from a
state of many social fears into a state of calm for the holiness in such a moment.
God is there in our midst, inside and between both the protagonists. Only one
of these moments is needed and the rapport between these two individuals is
solidified.
***
The highest of human experience is
the knowledge of God in relationship with another person. When we not only know
God, alone, but now in the company of another, our enjoyment of God is doubled.
The power of the transformed life
is the ability to confidently and vulnerably share a moment with another
person. When we can be open and honest we are safe to be with. People love to
interact with people who are safe to be with. Be safe to be with.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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