2014’s Ten Biggest, Most Memorable Events

What was the biggest event of 2014? Was it the Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 shootdown, the ISIL offensive, the airstrikes by the United States and its Arab allies on Syria, or the Ebola virus outbreak? Or was it something else?

In a year where the world’s population reached 7.28 billion, Gregorian Year MMXIV has revealed perhaps more hype, fear, drama and tragedy than we’re used to seeing, certainly in comparison of world events with the previous two years. Perhaps in terms of enormity the following ten events can be considered (in reverse ‘countdown’ order of importance) the biggest, most memorable:

NUMBER TEN – Legalisation of Euthanasia in Belgium

Not unlike the legal reforms on the same-sex marriage debate, in terms of ethical weight, the legalisation of euthanasia in Belgium for terminally ill patients of any age comes into effect on February 13.

NUMBER NINE – Chibok School, Nigeria, Kidnapping of 300 girls

Boko Haram, an Islamic Jihadist organisation, claims responsibility for the abduction and kidnap of 276 female students on the night of April 14-15. There is a social media campaign started worldwide (#BringBackOurGirls) that reached 2.3 million tweets, but, as yet, there has been no major breakthrough on this tragic event.

NUMBER EIGHT – Climate Change Report

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change releases its final Fifth Assessment and concludes that the world faces “severe, pervasive, and irreversible” damage from global emissions of CO2. And the world’s governments continue to disagree with one another on what the world response should be.

NUMBER SEVEN – Threat of Poliomyelitis

The World Health Organization (WHO) identifies the spread of poliomyelitis in at least ten countries to be a major worldwide health emergency.

NUMBER SIX – Israel and Hamas Standoff

For a seven-week period in June and July tensions rose between Israel and Palestinian Hamas, the product of which 2,100 Palestinians and 71 Israelis die, including a ground offensive into Gaza by Israel.

NUMBER FIVE – MH370 Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Disappears

A mystery consuming billions of dollars, and generating ongoing anguish in family members left ambiguously behind, the March 8 disappearance of the Boeing 777 airliner is perplexing. It is assumed to have disappeared between the Gulf of Thailand and the Indian Ocean.

NUMBER FOUR – Russian Situation Involving the Ukraine and Crimea

The annexation of Crimea implicates sanctions against Russia and the temporary suspension of Russia from the G8. The United Nations General Assembly, via a resolution, rejects the annexation and calls Crimea part of the Ukraine. This all comes after the Sochi Winter Olympic Games held in Russia during February 7-23.

NUMBER THREE – Ebola Epidemic in West Africa

This February outbreak which has the whole world’s continued attention has infected nearly 20,000 and killed 6,000; the most ever in modern terms of infections and casualties. Most countries around the world institute preventive and corrective policies at airports, border crossings and seaports.

NUMBER TWO – MH17 Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 Shootdown Over Ukraine

On July 17 the world wakes to breaking news of a commercial airliner (Boeing 777) that is shotdown over the Ukraine by a Russian missile. 298 people perish. Days later the United Nations Security Council issue Resolution 2166 in response to the shootdown. A major international recovery effort and a Dutch investigation ensue.

NUMBER ONE – Islamic State Offensive Into Northern Iraq

Nothing has struck fear and repugnance into the hearts of Earth’s citizens in 2014 more than the rise of Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant/Syria (ISIL or ISIS). Using social media to terrorise the world through the recorded beheadings of several individual hostages, world leaders almost everywhere denounce the IS strategies as evil. Such a conflict is most worrying for the religious undertones and overtones as Jihadists continue to provoke the West toward a ‘holy war’.

***

2014 has been dominated more by national and international conflicts than natural disasters. World financial market concerns continue to unsettle consumer confidence, and major health crises (i.e. Ebola or poliomyelitis) also worry Earth’s inhabitants in 2014.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Acknowledgement: source information from various pages on Wikipedia.

Getting the Conversation Right When Stakes Are Crucial

When stakes are high and stress is at its peak,

The conversation needs Mutual Purpose and Respect.

It needs at least one party to be committed to being meek,
If a good outcome is anything either is to collect.

***

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

—   GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Crucial Conversations, by Kerry Patterson et al, harnesses important information on how to understand why crucial conversations usually go south.

Simply put, when the stakes are high and opinions are opposed and divided, strong emotions are elicited and sides polarise and protect themselves; trust diminishes because respect plummets. The higher the stakes are, and the more divided the opinions, the worse the outcome is likely to be, but it doesn’t need to be that way.

If we have any interest in good relational outcomes, and we should, we will want to ensure we communicate that we believe mutual purpose and mutual respect are the foundation for negotiating crucial conversations.

Communicating a Commitment to Mutual Purpose

It’s vitally important that a common purpose can be established, and it’s possible, even when opinions and goals vary a lot. Finding some commonality in purpose, and communicating an understanding of their purpose, promotes a sense for safety where the other party can relax knowing we have their back. The primary reason this feeling of safety is so important is for the maintenance of trust; that we are working with an ally notwithstanding our differences.

When people know we care about their concerns we are halfway to an environment free of anger, hurt and fear.

Communicating a Heart for Mutual Respect

When we not only communicate a commitment to mutual purpose, that we care for their concerns, but we also communicate a heart for mutual respect, that we care for them, we give them room and reason to debunk their defensiveness.

When we communicate we care for someone we see their defences are down and they are truly able to be honest.

Only when people know we care for what they care for and that we actually care for them will they trust us enough to be open to logic that runs against their view.

***

Being serious about negotiating with people means we will care about what’s important for them and we will care about them, too.

We cannot forge a way we are convinced is best until we have fully engaged with the counter arguments.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

Looking Back On Our 179 Hours With Nathanael Marcus

So vulnerable and so touching,
His little body in our hands,
Though his spirit had flown,
His memory, eternally it stands.

***

Nathanael came into the world ‘not born alive’ according to his Birth Certificate. Arriving a little before 11pm, and having bathed him, we didn’t get to sleep until 3am. I was up at 6am to get us all ready for the Heartfelt photographer’s arrival at 7.30am, with all our family arriving at 8am. We were so blessed that all of our close family – our parents and my girls – made it. All our siblings visited later. We moved rooms immediately after; up to Ward 4 Room 7.

That night, the 31st of October, we sobbed a fair bit. My first opportunity to let out a preponderance of emotion coincided with the social-worker’s visit. I couldn’t believe that she walked in and expected to see us when I was a mess, holding Nathanael, ‘having a moment’. She didn’t think to ask if she could talk with us. Apologising if I appeared rude, I asked her to come back later. That night was a close night for Sarah and I, with many tears shed. We took some videos of us in our experiencing our little man, before he had to be back to be cooled. I slept that night on a fold-up bed.

We received some visits on Saturday 1st of November; some sweet friends brought some worship songs and we played them, cried, and prayed. God touched us. The evening was much like the last one; we sat in the quiet and could not escape the reality that had now beset us. There’s nothing like the dichotomy of having a baby that won’t keep you awake at night; a baby we would not hear from the nursery; a baby that wouldn’t be waking us up several times during the night.

The visits we had from the psychologist and psychiatrist was polar opposites; both professional, but the latter just ever so humble and appropriately speechless. God, thank you for Dr. Ray Binns. The psychologist couldn’t tell us any more than we already knew; the resources she offered, like Pauline Boss’s work on grief, which is great, I’ve long studied and often written on.

It was typical for us to have Nathanael with us for several hours in the morning and then to have him for all afternoon until early evening. We would hold him. We dressed him a few times.

Early on I thought Sarah might be out of hospital sooner, but it was appropriate for her not to leave on Monday the 3rd but Tuesday the 4th – she had something akin to the third day blues. It was wise to leave when we did. We met with the funeral director and our funeral minister on the afternoon Sarah arrived home.

We had planned to visit Nathanael at the Perinatal Pathology Lounge on the Wednesday, but Sarah took a turn for the worse by walking 100 metres into the hospital. We missed our appointment because Sarah spent a few hours in emergency department. So we visited him on the Thursday morning. The funeral was on the Friday.

By the time the funeral came around, we had had access to Nathanael for 179 hours. We genuinely enjoyed (if that’s the right word) all of that time. We made the most of it and we have no regrets.

God gave us much in our experience of our son.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

5 Reasons We Ought to Live Life and Not Fear Death

Take an interest in your death,
For in your death your life has meaning,
Learn to look back from death’s door,
And in that make Christ your every leaning.

***

Death is no imposter. Life is no guarantor. Both death and life make broad and bold statements, and we, the assuming, make very many mistakes because we think not enough about the one, we take too much for granted of the other, and assume wrongly about both.

Death happens to others, we assume, until, that is, it takes us by stealth, into the storm of grief – the loss of a loved one.

Life is there for us as we never imagine, as the Shamans of Mexico would, that our deaths stalk us – they do. Yet, we imagine only half a life without knowing the intimacy of our own death as it lurks only the absence of breath or one foul swoop away.

It is wisdom to think appropriately about both death and life. Then we have nothing to fear.

***

Knowing the concepts for death and life are intended to bless us, here are five reasons we ought not to fear death so we can make the most of life:

1.      For the saved, there is only a better life to follow: We, the believers, believe this by faith. There is no appropriate reason to doubt what our Holy Scriptures say.

2.      Our deaths, like everyone else’s death, are historical facts: Why would we not plan our lives around what survives us? It is good to imagine that life will go on. It’s appropriate that people will mourn us for a time, then to get on with their lives. There is peace knowing life goes on without us.

3.      Looking back from death’s door gives life its cogency of meaning: When we consider that we cannot undo our lives – all our words and actions – and considering this fact from the viewpoint of entering eternity – we live in ‘live’ time. There are consequences. Everything is important. Our lives are not insignificant.

4.      Leaning on Christ gives us power for no regrets: None of us will live anything like a perfect life, but a life weighed by the portions of love, peace and grace will make a life of fewer, if any, regrets.

5.      Given today is the day the Lord has made, we can rejoice: We have this day. We have no assurance of another. So we take the day and we continue to adjust it to the hopes God has for us.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.