“LET’S just do this,” my wife said
firmly, yet in a whisper quiet voice, looking straight at me. It was a moment
in time when every fibre of me simply walked in unison with this most previous
instruction. Five seconds beforehand, I definitely wanted to quit!
I did not want to do it, but again,
seven years hence, she
whispered me.
It’s the power of her wonderfully
feminine love — she is persuasive when she is desperate. A husband who promised
not to moan, who did groan, when she herself wanted every bit to have herself
some of that action.
But she didn’t. She wouldn’t. For
her, there is no purpose in bathing in defeat, though every sinew in her weary
body was pulsating with pain. For her, there was too much wisdom to sacrificed…
what, for folly?
Our mini-interaction highlighted
what it is for all couples — a forwards-backwards land of compromise and
acceptance.
How do partners in coupledom
operate when they are both exhausted leading the family enterprise? Sure, they
may bicker. It might be tense for a few minutes. But one soon stays quiet. The
other, too, reflects. And the one who was harsh comes. They come in the mood of
hope but inflected toward repentance. They turn the ship around with their
confession. And, exhausted, they begin again, continuing the working together,
giving their energy to the task of being one, whatever it takes.
There is one person I want to be
with whether we’re exhausted or not. Love does not shift just because the
season is arduous. Love bunkers down, does what is necessary, gets through,
keeping the faith.
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