Do this ONE thing to become more like Jesus

In my morning prayers with God, the Holy Spirit asked me a question: “What is one Jesus-like feature that any human being can do?”

As the question was ushered into my spirit, so too was the answer; like a mighty revelation that comes in an instant without words, but it is a concept, an idea, fully established in the light of God.

Here is the answer to the question: “the one Jesus-like feature in any human being exemplifying their Lord is the taking of their responsibility; not one iota less what’s theirs; not one iota more than other people should; just exactly their own.”

This, for me, is the essence of relational wisdom; to own one’s sin, to take responsibility for it, and yet, at the same time, not to take another person’s responsibility, which is to allow everyone to own their contribution, good and not-so-good within the interpersonal dynamic.

To take responsibility is to repent of the things we’ve done wrong, yet it’s also to hold out to others the same opportunity, so as not to deprive anyone their own repentance.

To take responsibility is to make restitutive justice so relationships can be restored, so that people feel justly treated, that their justice has been respected. When someone sees that we’ve been honest and humble to the degree that we provide for their justice, by telling on ourselves, we give them faith and confidence in the goodness possible in humanity — a goodness only possible through the power of God. If we don’t take our responsibility, and it doesn’t matter if we’re Christian or not, we’re all tempted to deny it, we crush the virtue of justice in the other person. They have one more reason to take justice into their own hands. This is a vice we ought never to provoke. And we do provoke another person’s retributive response when we deny them the justice they would have received if we only took our responsibility for what we could have done better.

See that it is a sin to not take enough of our own responsibility?

To take responsibility is to also allow others to hold and to handle their own messes without stepping in to rescue them. It ensures that we do not take their confidence away from them, which is precisely what we do when we do things for others who should be able to do their things for themselves; with minimal hand-holding. When we take too much responsibility this is what happens; we enable more poor behaviour by sapping the other person of the confidence they could attain for themselves. See how taking too much responsibility for someone betrays them their opportunity to grapple, adapt, improvise, and ultimately overcome.

See that it is a sin to take too much responsibility?

Can it seem cruel to them and us when we gently insist they take their responsibility? Yes, indeed. That’s life in the relational world, I’m afraid. If we take our own responsibility, surely others can take theirs.

Being more Jesus-like is about taking responsibility for all our attitudes and behaviour, while refusing to take responsibility for other people’s attitudes and behaviour.

If more of this taking responsibility for one’s own actions took place there would be far less abuse, discrimination, trauma, mental illness, etc. Jesus wants to grow us all up.

Photo by Joël de Vriend on Unsplash