We need a way back to the way we were

Absolutely convinced that life was a particular way, we easily act on our hunch or conviction, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t occasionally deluded.

Spending a period of time in that place is never fun from the viewpoint of being in it, and we should know we’re there by the extraction of joy, hope and peace that has otherwise departed.

But being in this place it can be hard to see.  So it was for me very recently.

Then on this particular morning, God’s Spirit descended in four compelling voices — voices of people I would normally provide the ministry to — who came one by one, but as if in unison, to give me a piece of God’s mind.

The first voice was in the form of a psalm — God’s Spirit spoke.  Gently recited and then left with me.  Mmm...

The second voice was quite different.  I had just delivered a staff devotion and had issued the invitation — “please hold me to account.”  This person had already been agonising over how to deliver a challenge I needed to hear.  Having heard me issue the invitation, she decided to be bold.  “Steve, can I say something to you, oh this feels awkward (or words to that effect)?”

There was something I’d done in the realm of social media — a reaction to a post — that had genuinely dismayed her.  In my own terms (without putting words in her kind mouth) I guess you could say my ‘reaction’ was conduct unbecoming of a Christian leader.  She was hurt, because, for her, I represented something — I have a role to support order and encourage and not disparage.  As soon as she courageously though gently said what she said, I couldn’t help but agree.  I knew exactly what she was referring to and I couldn’t disagree.  She was God’s instrument in delivering a vital message, the gentlest rebuke.  I thanked her and she was able to leave at peace.  I then immediately acted to undo what I’d done, and then to reflect whether there were other ramifications.

The third voice was from a younger friend who would refer to me as a mentor.  Our relationship over the years has endured some conflict.  He has licence to speak into my life.  In this interaction, there wasn’t so much a rebuke, but a reminder — built on the basis of the first two interactions — that there were things to tend to.

The fourth voice reached out also in the mood of care.  By this time, I’m saying, “Okay, God, You have my attention.”  It wasn’t necessarily the words that were written, and whether they were accurate or not for me, but the pattern remained.  An irrefutable evidence of the work of God through four separate persons who would ordinarily receive ministry from me, not give it.

It’s not just that though.  I have multiple mentors, a pastoral supervisor, occasionally my psychologist, a pastoral team in the church I serve at, and one manager who actively speak into my life.

I don’t need other voices to speak for God, UNLESS other voices need to speak for God.  See my point?

The fact is I’m not beyond hurting those I serve, and when that happens I then ought to be extremely thankful that some have the gumption to lovingly challenge me; as the proverb says, “The wounds of a friend can be trusted” (Proverbs 27:6).

What isn’t lost on me in the absolute fact of God’s providence in my life, to speak through four people over a couple of hours.

We need a way back to the way we were.  I think each person was saying, “There’s something not quite right with you right now... I know because I know you... can I see if I can help you?”

We need a way back to the way we were, and that way is a peacemaking conversation that begins with, “I’m wondering if I can share something that I feel may be important for you to know about what I’m seeing.”  The response therefore is, “Please do share, I am listening.”

The sharer shares kindly, the listener listens with humility.

Yes, it may hurt for a moment.  But we absorb that hurt.  Like the feather down on a duck, we let that hurt hit us in the chest and then nestle safely into the down.  We stay in the moment and hear the brave messenger out.  If they’re gentle, they will win us over, and God’s Spirit then gets through.  We learn something and then we can grow.

I’m writing this to consolidate the learning.  It’s only one step.  But I’m thankful for the compelling nature with which God communicates.  For me, it could only be God who did this.

I’m thankful that God loves me that much that when I stray, my Lord will search for me in my lostness.  Leaving the 99 safe in the pen, God goes after the 1 to bring them back.

It is amazing how often God uses our friends to do that.

Photo by Sami Takarautio on Unsplash