The gifts of empathy and understanding

Truly understanding another human being is like seeing the entirety of an iceberg.  Much of the mass of an iceberg sits invisible below the surface of the icy waters.  The archetypal iceberg is much bigger in mass below the surface.  Only the smaller portion exists visible to the eye.

The metaphor of the iceberg is helpful for understanding empathy.  The more we see of the iceberg, the more we know its true mass, structure, and features.

The more we understand another person,
the more we can choose to empathise. 

When we more fully understand
and appreciate another human being,
we are positioned then to empathise.

But it also takes empathy to
achieve a fuller understanding.

Empathy is the capacity for one human being to understand and feel for another.  But empathy is also the behaviour of demonstrating care from the understanding gleaned.  Understanding comes first.

Understanding is the full iceberg.  It comes from the empathy of interest in the other person; the curiosity and integrity of interest for the right reasons.

THE HEART BEHIND EMPATHY

The heart is what underlies empathy — the WANT or the motivation to understand another person.  But many people have absolutely no inclination to do so. 

The heart in Old Testament terms is ‘the seat of the emotions’ — the heart is the basis of all our motivation or want to do anything.  This is a thing that we must personally see the inherent benefit of — to do it. 

The heart behind empathy is the WANT
or desire to see others prosper or be blessed.  

Only people who already feel blessed
have the capacity to willingly empathise. 

Only when we truly understand the power of giving our love away to the extent of empathy, do we fully grasp and take hold of the abundant life any of us can have at any time. 

Giving empathy is therefore a key indicator and evidence of full emotional health in a person in the realm of relationships.  It is not only wisdom to engage in it.  Demonstrated empathy is a gift to both the receiver and giver.

COMMITTING TO A FULLER UNDERSTANDING 

Making the sacrifices necessary to fully understand another person is worth it.  But it’s like the chicken and the egg — what comes first?  Empathy or understanding?  

To fully invest ourselves in understanding another, we must have sufficient security of worth within ourselves first.  Who gives the precious gift of authentic empathy without first having a safe sense of self? 

Seeking a full understanding of
another involves an inherent humility;
a heart genuinely interested in the other. 

A fuller understanding of another person positions that person to empathise.

Blessed is the heart of a person motivated to empathise.

A person motivated to understand and
empathise is blessed as they are a blessing.