When Failing Is Succeeding

None of us plans to fail.  None of us likes to fail.   But fail we will!  

We know that striving for success inevitably leads us to deplore ourselves when we fail.  

We cruel ourselves in fear, guilt,
and shame when we fail.

One of the greatest gifts of growth in life is when we’ve let go of our perfectionism — suddenly we’re able to experience the simplest joys from our work.  They are suddenly within reach when we’re not looking for the problems within it.  

And when we lower our standards of ourselves,
we lower our standards of others,
and we are more loving and less judgemental.  

In recent days, I’ve performed several public speaking roles, moderating a panel at a conference, awarding an award at a ceremony, preaching a sermon at church, delivering an ‘industry address’ at the Governor’s Chaplaincy Awards.  Whilst I did all these speaking tasks capably, the way they were delivered was far from perfect.  Would I have liked to have done them better?  Yes, but… I think it’s more important to lead in not being perfect — to show people there is dignity in part failure.

I’m comfortable with being conspicuously average or even under par — because I’m not perfect and never will be.  I even catch myself giving the chase for perfection away — it’s a beautifully freeing thing to do.  

If I’m not good enough for some people and situations, so be it.  Why should it bother me?  If it did bother me, I’m sure I wouldn’t be capable of doing what I do because my increased anxiety would get the better of me.  

Here is a paradoxical thesis for you:
FAIL and do so with joy.  

I’m not suggesting you fail at anything that hurts others, but fail at something that bruises your ego.  

When we achieve this, we have put one of our fears into the shade and it no longer has any power over us.  We can allow ourselves the imperfections due to any human being.  

If we can understand and forgive failure in ourselves,
we can understand and forgive failure in others.  

~~~

The problem with perfectionism is we can NEVER achieve it.  

It sits ever there on the horizon, five kilometres away, always promising to be seen but impossible to reach.  What folly to chase it like the wind.  

Better by far to go gently with ourselves in conspicuous moments of failure that reveal themselves to us in guilt or shame.  

Here’s a practice for you: fail.  Yes, you saw that word and noticed it’s a verb.  You can DO it.  Again, I’m not suggesting you fail at anything that hurts others, but something that hurts your ego.  

Fail well and we show humility — a much prized character trait.  

Let the cards fall where they will, and then experience the power of living without that fear.  

So when is failing succeeding?  When we can consistently forgive ourselves in failure we are successfully living with more joy and freedom.