Tell Me Even One Good Reason I Should Trust God

Harsh outside, still cold within,

Want to hide, can’t get out of this spin,

Feeling unsafe, turbulent heart,

This feeling I hate, don’t know where to start.

Through seasons of pain, with grace estranged,

The energy drain, my life is changed,

Yet all is still, deeper within,

Up this hill, I won’t give in.

Here am I, crushed by this circumstance,

Feel I could die, no way can I dance,

Yet I’ll hold on, God my Rock,

You’ll keep me strong, as long as I knock.

Jaded understanding, so lapsed is my soul,

No secure landing, can’t figure out my role,

Yet I’ll maintain resolve, my heart will be strong,

My trust will revolve around God all day and night long.

Long, so long, I’ve stayed my hope,

Even when I’m wrong I know I can cope,

God, my Tower, you keep me here,

God, my Power, to me you’re so dear.

By your might, I can endure the day,

You give me light, which shows me the way,

God, in your story, help me believe,

God, to your glory, make my heart to cleave.

Great God, my Lord, Saviour, and King,

You’ve restored my reason to sing,

Glorious God who’s deserved my trust,

To keep trusting is to do what I simply just must.

Life takes us to the abysmal depths whether we believe in God or not. Some lives are sheltered, but most only for so long. Sooner or later the winds of change blow through the attics and basements of our lives sending our past into oblivion, our future to the dogs.

There is one reason to believe in God. Forget about the stumbling blocks of theology. Don’t dwell on the mysteries that cannot be answered. Instead, trust.

Trust is the key to a way of life called faith. Faith is the key to a way of life called belief. Belief is the key to a way of life called hope. Hope is the key to a way of life called joy. Joy is the key to a way of life called peace. Peace is the key to a way of life called love. And love is the key to a way of life called life, with all the foregoing thrown in: a bargain.

Trust costs us only that which we should not want to keep: our own self-absorbed, convoluted, and frustrated misery.

Trust sees us through every abysmal tribulation. God there with us.

Trust engenders faith. Faith, belief. Belief, hope. Hope, joy. Joy, peace. Peace, love. And love makes life; the capacity, with God, to overcome.

One good reason to trust God and to keep trusting: life will collapse at some point and trust, faith, belief, hope, joy, peace, and love are our only strength for life. These, from God.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

The Glory Experienced In Experiencing God’s Grace

FORGIVENESS, whenever we experience it, is a very definite portion of God’s glory, in and through the mode of God’s grace being extended.

Think of a time you received the undeserved favour of someone, where they forgave you something you felt tremendous guilt or shame for, and think of that feeling; being let off the hook. Sure, you were honest. You fell on your sword (as Saul did in 1 Chronicles 10:4), so to speak. You held no defence for yourself. The other party could see you totally vulnerable. Your honesty pleaded for their mercy. And their mercy was given, as a gift of “be restored to me, my brother or sister.”

When we’re truthful about mistakes we’ve made, errors of judgment and the like, and we resist the fear of being exposed, God often does something in the transaction of confession. Something miraculous takes place. Our faith is buoyed in courage.

In simply being honest about our mistakes, God’s glory, and not simply his grace, is made available.

Honesty makes it possible that we can be forgiven.

In being forgiven, God’s glory, and not simply his grace, is made manifest.

God does so much with our honesty. I was talking in the park with a fellow parent recently; a person who rehabilitates people after serious injury. He talked about how sad it is when people aren’t honest about what actually happened in vehicle accident. Sometimes people won’t tell the truth for fear of financial loss. So, a thing that could easily be sorted out — though it might cost them a little more financially — gets very messy and the issue gets dragged through the courts. Not only that, but there are warring parties. There are children in families who watch on and learn the wrong way for dealing with conflict. There are also the protagonists who must endure great stress which propagates fear and feeds the conflict. And, as the conflict goes on, sometimes year after year, less and less life is lived by all parties. Just because one or both parties weren’t honest. If the person in the fault is able to be honest, even though they might lose out financially, they gain integrity, for anyone can make a mistake. And what better result can an unsatisfactory event produce than a restitution that everyone can bear?

As we bring honesty to the table, relationship is built, and trust is enhanced, because justice proves bigger than we are. Justice is big enough only for God.

Everybody is interested in an easily observable justice. When we tell the truth and don’t hide behind our shame God shows the other party that we deserve mercy and how to extend grace. It’s easier for mercy to emanate from the person from whom forgiveness is sought.

***

God’s glory is magnified within God’s grace. As someone extends that merciful grace in forgiveness, grace compounds and it becomes glory — for both parties — for the honest person and for the merciful person.

In forgiving and in being forgiven, God’s grace is known between the two, and God’s glory is shown for all to see.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

Faith, the Friend We Need When Forgiveness Is Foreign

NATURAL to our instincts… forgiveness certainly is not. None of us find forgiveness easy for the pure fact that the stakes are irretrievably high when it comes to loss.

Forgiveness Facilitates Reconciliation

In all our losses there’s a thread of forgiveness, which is reconciliation, to wrestle with — forgiveness, the process; reconciliation, the hoped-for outcome. Whenever we’ve lost an element of our lives, holistically, we rally against that loss initially; we have to. We have no choice. Loss seems so irreconcilable. Reality is all too big.

But forgiveness gets us along the way to reconciliation. Faith is the friend we need.

Losses are changeworthy. They take us into a foreign land far from the crucial knowledge we have of ourselves. Loss affects us at the level of our core values. None of us expect life to be so harsh as to land us in a place of no return. Our core values involve the assumption that we’ll always be safe. And loss takes us far out into the choppy seas far from the shore which is safe land.

Loss is that place of no return where a new normal must be engineered and procured.

So, if we accept that forgiveness is an inherent part of reconciling loss — and there are possibly many threads to reconcile — and we accept that forgiveness is foreign — we have a head start in at least acknowledging how hard things actually are.

It’s a miracle to actually achieve forgiveness. But, when it’s achieved, we have a vital command post for reconciliation. We have an important vantage point for reconciling our inner discord, a relationship, and for forging a new way of life.

Reconciliation starts when we have forgiven.

Where Faith’s No Substitute

Faith is no generalised concept. It’s a very real action-oriented vestibule of hope and love. Faith blends the hope for a better present and future with the love that compels action.

When life’s hard and seemingly impossible at times, for the gravity of loss is starker than we ever thought pain could be, faith is the risk we have to take. Faith generates hope, but faith also sows in hope. And hope fuels faith. Love is an output of faith.

Choosing the Right Days

We take such a risk of faith only on a stronger day.

A weaker day in loss makes grief insurmountable. Days like this we’re gentle with ourselves.

But stronger days are days to advance the vision for what could be — a future we might hope for, but probably cannot yet see.

Wisdom is in picking the right day.

Knowing forgiveness is hard helps us not to force the pace beyond God’s will. God will heal us, but forgiveness is a process, and sometimes it can take years. We learn to praise God when forgiveness comes easier, which is always a miracle of God’s grace; a thing we cannot easily explain away.

Safety in forgiveness is not fighting our feelings, but being gently inquisitive of our struggles, whilst being willing to push ahead when it comes easier.

What a wonderful thing to be inspired to forgive. We need to make the most of those God-indwelled moments. Suddenly there’s the moment of humility to call things for what they are; those things we can take some direct responsibility for. Taking responsibility is receiving blessing.

Forgiveness is foreign to our nature, but when we adopt God’s nature forgiveness becomes natural and healing.

Progress is about reconciliation, as forgiveness, which requires humility, which is honesty; a key to progress.

Faith is the friend we need when forgiveness is foreign.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

The Symphony of God’s Bliss Known in Loss

THERE’S no veritable limit to what God has for us in the field of experience. But our humanity cannot readily see what God has for us, and our humanity doesn’t want to believe. To believe is to go against the flow of our inner reality, to choose something that seems external, but could never be anything other than visceral.

What I discuss here is possible, but only through faith; only through taking a step outside ourselves in order to see what is ever deeply part of us: God — and his works in us from time immemorial.

Let me determine a logic for the term, “God’s bliss.”

It’s something that couldn’t be further from our human default experience of thinking, where we know how far from home we are. Whenever we feel truly human we can feel that we’re estranged from home — that God-shaped whole in our hearts. Yet, many people don’t recognise it and their response to the unsavoury parts of life is anger or envy or prideful, etc. God’s bliss is recognising we’re far from home, yet it’s entreating the Spirit to be with us in the moment, and it’s that actual experience: to enjoy a Presence in and about ourselves that’s remarkably reassuring simply because we know God is there.

God’s bliss is experienced independent of our reality. It’s the same experience whether joy appends naturally or whether sorrow binds itself to us in our fissures. It’s no normal bliss. It’s entirely supernatural, through faith. It’s partly a meditative state. It’s therefore primary to prayer. But it’s possible to carry God’s bliss.

Because it’s pervasive — the ending of all our power; the beginning of God’s power — God’s bliss is a symphony. It superintends our spiritual state and is felt mentally and emotionally. It covers the darkness with an effusion of light.

***

Loss is incredibly hard. Shock is normal, denial is natural, and anger and bargaining are to be expected. Depression is almost a fait accompli. We have to experience loss as human beings, at a human level.

But where faith can make God real in the raw moments of experience is through entreating God’s bliss. We know Jesus experienced great pain, personally. We can know that God feels what we feel. And we can know that only God can help us stay the excruciating moment. (To ‘stay the moment’ I mean to bear it courageously — the painful reality of the experience, by the second.)

God gives us power, and the experience of his Presence with us, to be real in pain.

Being real in the pain of loss is possible because God’s Presence makes it possible.

The burdens of life are hard and heavy. God’s burden is hope-giving and healing.

God’s bliss is a portent of life from another place and time; a reminder of home.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

Creating the Safe Space That Gives You Life

EXISTENTIAL struggles are the nexus of life; none of us can avoid them. And the more truthful we are about what interminable struggles we have, the more we will struggle with the truth. This life lived in the truth is not sufferable unless it’s lived at harmony with God.

God’s purpose in life is that we approach truth; that we accommodate it.

When we realise what the truth requires of us, we may be found back-peddling. We don’t want what can seem so eerily scary. Our truths are often too much. We need safety. Safety is implicit for the journey.

So if we’re to live the abundant life Jesus came to give us, meaning we need to bear our truths, we will need safety.

Safety is created when we journey with a mentor and counsellor who’ll show us how to hold and contain truth in such a way as it is no threat. They show us that safety must always come first, but that advancing into our fear is also necessary.

So, as if we had a phobia to overcome, we enter with courage the tumult to be faced, but the assurance that we’re safe. Whenever that assurance leaves we have permission to rescind a little.

We go there with an inheritance of the Lord’s Presence with us. God is with us. And, if need be, we go there with a guide as well — that mentor or counsellor. This is not simply about learning for liberty in this situation, but it’s about learning for life. Whatever safety we’re able to acquire for handling the present fear is a safety we can apply more broadly.

***

Safety fortifies courage. The safer we feel, the more courageous we can be. It’s perfectly appropriate to need to feel safe. In change, in loss, in grief, and in all relational and life challenges, safety is needed if we hope to succeed.

When safety is on-board we have the capacity to enter many things we’d fearfully shrink from. The question always seems to be, “What does that safety look like, and where and how is it to be obtained?”

Growth in God is determined by our journey in the truth. And truth can only be borne in safety. So safety is the key to how God will take us from fear into a capacity to bear our truth.

Safety is the great enabler in life. Where we feel safe we’re able to enter. And what we can enter no longer stands in our way.

Life is achieved, and truth is our home, when the only fear we have is a reverent, holy fear.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

Ministry – Where Serving Meets the Servant-Hearted

HARD truths; there are myriads of them, especially in Christian ministry. Ministry, of course, is about others. Yet we often get into ministry for other reasons — the feeling we get when we serve, the love we have for the Lord, the fact we get to work in the area of our passions, status, kudos or approval, and even the feeling we get when we’re fully utilised in an area we’re gifted in — amongst so many others. We may need the odd goad, because we’re all susceptible, at least a little, to doing ministry, and being in ministry, for the wrong reasons.

In ministry,

“We do what is necessary, not always what we want.”

— Dr Brian Harris

I love this quote because it reminds me, when I’m feeling vulnerable about my place and position as the Lord’s minister, that it’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not centrally about the other person. It’s about bringing heaven to earth; the divine vision of “Kingdom come, God’s will be done.”

Ministry is about repentance. It’s a safe space where one’s truth is pliable for the confessing — where Kingdom comes into our hearts, afresh; where one’s vulnerability might welcome the warmth of God’s sunshine; the gentlest invitation. Ministry is repenting and being rightly oriented to God; the seeking of his will to be done. The servant-hearted come to desire to serve only upon the conviction of the Holy Spirit through, and because of, repentance; of turning back, or returning, in faith. They’re models for what we all need to do, in bringing the Kingdom earthward.

To repent is necessary, though it’s not always what we want to do.

Ministry is about reconciliation. It’s a mediatory space where the truth might grow in the hearts of many; where half-truths are challenged and gradually spurned. Letting go of our stories — those that favour us — for a bigger ‘truth’ (the truth), is part and parcel of growth. When reconciliation is underway or achieved, God’s Kingdom has come upon our story, for his glory.

To reconcile is necessary, though it’s not always what we want to do.

Ministry is about restoration. It’s a healing space where the Kingdom comes as God first intended it. When healing is brought to bear, where truth might be received in a hotbed of grace, God’s glorious Kingdom is resplendent for anyone with eyes for the truth to see. That’s the goal of ministry — for our humanity to get out of the way enough to allow the shedding of God’s light onto matters of reality such that they’d be seen, as they actually are.

To restore is necessary, though it’s not always what we want to do.

***

Many times of weakness have beset me over the years; times when I’ve felt ministry was more about my needs being served within the serving of others and the meeting of their needs. I know I’m weak in my walk with God when I feel these ways.

Serving is about doing what’s necessary.

***

Ministry is where serving opportunities meet the servant-hearted. It’s where leaders serve in the capacity of willing and able servants. Where true leadership resides.

The Kingdom coming to earth is necessary, though it’s not always what we want to do.

Ministry is where serving meets the servant-hearted. Here it is as a process:

Repentance — rightly aligned to know the truth.

Reconciliation — rightly motivated to apply the truth.

Restoration — rightly blessed to live in the truth.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

When Love Communicates the Truth of Grief

“For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.”

— 2 Corinthians 2:4 (NIV)

BRAVE Christian souls weather storms of relational challenge and uncertainty. They take most seriously that Christian charge: “death is at work in us, so life is at work in you” (2 Corinthians 4:12). Brave Christian souls know that conflict is not about them at all, nor the person they’re in conflict with; it’s about the broader good.

Many who may call themselves Christian may struggle with the idea of reconciliation when it seems easier to remain hurt — well, of course, that’s pride speaking.

Genuine Christian persons tackle matters of relational discord for the broader good. They don’t let the devil get a foothold at all (Ephesians 4:27). They’re more than prepared to fight for reconciliation, when, much of the time, the fight is about letting go of their own pride, and any other barrier in the way of restoring the relationship.

When love wishes to communicate it seeks court to communicate the truth of grief.

This sort of love hallows honesty and is empowered because of its courage.

Love cavorts with truth in the same way that God blesses the truth of matters impartially. So love communicates the truth of grief boldly yet sensitively — the truth with much grace. The message must be understood, so graciousness is crucial to a message’s reception and understanding. But graciousness is not love if it fails to represent the truth. Neither grace nor truth fall short of the best. They are two forms of the very best.

Matters of truth are lovingly communicated when graciousness guides matters.

If one party to a relationship grieves certain matters, that party ought to communicate the truth in a gracious way. What may be understood as setting up a stumbling block for persons is not what this is about. Love genuinely wishes that understanding would transcend the need of, and the perception of, stumbling blocks. When love and truth merge, understanding is fused in the minds of both giver and receiver. Grief is them able to be conveyed in a way that helps them both through. See how a stumbling block is a falling short of either or both, truth and love?

***

Love is honest and courageous, and through truth it necessarily communicates grief.

Love shrinks at nothing to want the best for all. It knows that truth is the best, but not just any old truth; a grace-imbued truth.

Truth is the power behind the best relationships, as a relationship’s best breathes power for truth.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

When Life Is In the Loss, Death’s In the Gain

WHEN. That’s the most important word in the context of this article.

When…

When Loss Is Gain

When life is in the loss, and death is in the gain, we see the power in living to lose what we cannot keep, in order that we might gain what we can never, in all eternity, lose.

Here’s the sting: lose it — what can be lost. Willingly. Whatever is not of eternity is to be lost, willingly, if that’s how situations tend. Without a second thought.

Whatever cannot be lost is all we should endeavour to keep — our eternal destiny.

Let go of what holds you away from the nearest joy: your God.

We stand to lose anything, possibly, of what we cannot keep. Accept it and prosper.

When loss is considered gain, nothing lost in life can ever defeat our resolve — a distinctly Jesus resolve!

When Gain Is Loss

We’ve covered this, but let’s make doubly sure of it; it’s a massively significant message: certain gains are certain losses. To gain a million bucks is a loss unless that million is poured into the Kingdom — the sowing into a Kingdom vision for the flourishing use of all those material resources that do a multiplicity of good.

Nothing losable can ever be gained. But that which is losable that’s sown into the Kingdom is gained for God’s glory in eternity.

Certain gains are certain losses.

We may gain the entire world, and much in terms of material riches and influence, but we’ll be buried one day, or scattered, dust to dust, like a pauper. All certain gains do is marginalise us away from an eternally more certain other gain — the real and certain hope of being raised into eternal life.

When gain is loss, such gains are a pure waste of time, space and effort. Such losses have only the appearance of gain.

Life’s Fundamental Question: WHO Are You Living Your Time For?

Not simply “how are you using your time?” but, poignantly, who are you living your time for? Who we live for will command how we use our time. Time will only ever be gain when it’s lived for Jesus, even though, lived that way, it may often feel like a complete loss.

Second-by-second, time whizzes by,

Some of this time we don’t even try,

Hours tick by slower by the minute,

Until eternity beckons, and then finally we win it.

Second-by-second, time whizzes by,

Those seconds and minutes verily fly,

Hours tick by slowly, yet doesn’t time cruise?

Time’s our opportunity, to consider and choose.

Who we live for will command how we use our time.

Time’s a linear concept. It keeps running. At the same pace. Each and every second is an opportunity to start, stop, change or continue. We’re all best to accept that some of our lives we’ll consider wasted. Over a full lifetime there may be just a few moments that we’ll ever cherish. But God has given us the fullness of time in his abundant generosity. And if we live for God we’ll have all eternity to enjoy what we sowed into heaven from here on earth.

Abundance makes abundantly more because it’s a kernel of clarity.

More seconds of thankfulness make for more hours of joy.

More hours of joy make for more weeks of hope-filled peace.

More weeks of hope-filled peace make for whole years of sanctity.

If we’re living our time for Jesus, accepting with joy our losses, which is making for us as gains, we’re blessed in the eternal realms.

Accept with joy your losses,

For gains are going your way,

Accept with joy each loss,

Sown into glory each is, each day.

When life is in the loss, and we understand life can only come through receiving from God, we understand that life’s not about taking, anything.

Life is about loss and the receipt of grace, which covers each loss in the joy of hope for what’s still coming.

When life is a profusion of loss, our losses take us through grief into a maturity of abundance. And loss is ultimately gain. When death is in the gain, we take what was never ours; that which could never be.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

When Friendships Turn Icy and Life Gets Awkward

WHAT can be done when good friendships turn icy due to a disagreement?

What should never occur — the parting of friends or partners over a disagreement — sadly occurs far too often. Friends and partners may always be only one crucial conversation away from a hurt that parts their social arrangement and keeps them estranged. We might hope that there’s more commitment than the commitment to go our separate ways. But then we’re shocked to find we’ve been given up on. Or, we find it’s ourselves that cannot continue such an untenable arrangement. The hurt may be just too real, too big, too insurmountable.

Then social situations get decidedly icy. We’re bound to bump into each other, at the doctor’s surgery, shopping, or at some community event. Then what?

Those awkward situations indicate something seriously amiss within the social fabric of our lives — and theirs. A vulnerability we’re individually and collectively uncomfortable with.

It’s never God’s will that good friends or partners part, but if they ever do, surely God’s will is that they get on.

Usually we could expect either of both parties to make some effort to reconcile differences, but it doesn’t always occur like that. Most often one party won’t reach out to the other if the other is perceived as holding back. And either party may not be bothered reaching out unless the pain of doing so is less than the pain of being estranged. Many situations, even most, remain unresolved.

Sometimes as peacemakers we cannot stand the impasse and we seek to remedy it, more for our own peace of mind; dissonance is the root of an anxious demeanour.

Sometimes as peacemakers we resolve that our own peace of mind is worth a compromise that the other party may never make. Times like these we might feel immediately like the compromises we make are for our own peace of mind. That’s okay.

Confronting and Resolving the Issues

Engaging with the party in some sense of small talk is the fundamental test of whether we can go further. If they appear amenable to small talk, they’re probably amenable to going further. But timing is ever crucial.

Entering a space where we discern we can go — and approach the central issues of feeling in the discord — we’re entering a space where angels cautiously tread; theirs and ours. We must get this right: focus on the feelings, not the issue that cause the fracas. Focus first on their feelings, and, if they’re comfortable there, gently introduce your own, at the right time.

If conflict is handled gently and respectfully, with love for the other person, trust may be grown through the handling of the conflict.

We must accept that they may not understand. We, also, may not understand. Wisdom always seeks to understand rather than be understood.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.

The Cross-Bearing Prayer

A prayer to Matthew 10:34-42.

Gracious and merciful Father,

Yours is the Kingdom we strive for; a Kingdom of power and glory and majesty, but also of grace and truth; a Kingdom of holiness and justice, but also of forgiveness and life, hope, peace and joy… a majestic Kingdom of safety and trust, a place we were created for; a destination of heart and soul as much as a terminus of place; a physical land. Your Kingdom come, is our prayer.

Thank You that we have a place with You, in eternity to come, as You’ve been given a place in our hearts; as we’ve made a home for which Your Holy Spirit can dwell within our souls – as You have come in.

All glory to You, Covenant Father, that we belong to You, and to You alone.

Nobody tells us when we’re converted to Jesus, Lord, just of the cost of our discipleship – of our following the Lord Jesus – but we’re thankful there’s a reward for our cross carrying. We’re grateful for the knowledge of this promise.

We’re thankful for the truth, for the strength and humility to carry what only we, in our lives, can; for what you have given us the power and patience to bear; for the fact that our experiences of salvation hang on our carrying of our cross.

Help us today to know that cross bearing is not only appropriate, but that it’s possible – that we can do it, in our unique circumstance; to carry our individual cross requiring much sacrifice, and that there’s meaning and significance in doing so.

Affirm to us what our crosses are, give us the strength by Your Spirit to carry our cross faithfully as Jesus carried His. Help us also to discern what our crosses aren’t – what You never call us to carry. Help us not feel guilty for not bearing another person’s cross, but help us encourage that person to bear what only they can and should. And help us be gracious!

Help us experience your merciful grace when we feel we fail You (when we don’t attain to our own loftier-than-helpful standards). Help us know You are not a tyrant. And help us to know that our cross is nothing that Jesus has not already borne for us; that He has and does and will bear us.

And principally, Creator God, remind us, that whilst we bear our cross, we do not suffer to the point of having our bodies broken by the weight of it or the spilling of our own blood. And yet even if we were called to martyrdom we would quickly ascend into the majesty of Your holy Presence.

Help us hope for that Day – in whatever eventuality. Help us accept it for the time and fact it – in all its shimmering brilliance – comes.

In Jesus’ wonderful Name – our Prototype, our Pillar, our Prop – our Exemplar, our Emmanuel, our Encourager – do we pray.

AMEN.

© 2015 Steve Wickham.