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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Fear Begets Fear

Two business partners have the typical acrimonious ‘Laurel and Hardy’ relationship. From a fly-on-the-wall perspective it’s comical, but not for either of these. They’re the consummate co-dependent couple. What hope do they have?

The stereotypical nagger occasionally loses their cool, going beyond anger into the bitterness of disgust. They cannot entertain feelings of love for those they’re in partnership with, because it’s hell-bent fear that drives the bus of the heart.

Worst of all, perhaps, is one purveying fear also draws it out of the other as the topsy-turvy comic-strip tragedy show goes on. One the harder, the other soft; both are hopeless to their situations.

Feelings for the disgusted nagger vacillate back from disgust to a fleeting self-directed anger because in a moment of self-reflection they see themselves partly at fault; but only for that brief moment. Just long enough to be further embittered, and to reject this in fervent denial, and then to reflect back onto the partner the caustic fury of Take Two.

The bitter partner is incensed—‘If only they didn’t incite me!’—their anger beyond reconciliation, for that moment and those soon after. All they can see is their anger and torment, and the vacillation in and out of disgust envelopes a deathly hellish sinkhole syndrome. They cannot escape, nor would they want to. The fury is self-contagious. Self-justification runs rife. After all, self-justification is better than no justification at all. Self-justification becomes entirely necessary.

Is there a way out? I’m not sure. For the person on the receiving end, they are on a character building journey if they’ll only see the opportunity. Either that or get out.

Fear begets fear as love begets love. We all know this, but it’s a real pity to see a caustic person induce pitiful submission in another person, who by and large, simply wants to live a quiet, balanced life.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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