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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Getting What You Want or Need First Time, Every Time

I’m not the slightest bit taken with shooting the breeze, taking chances on pot luck or whistling Dixie, and nor should you. If the title of this article is at all achievable then there are some rules of life we need to know about and abide by.

None of us truly likes asking for things we want or need. We would much prefer others were perceptive in these matters, giving us our desires without a word said. The fact is this is not how the world works. Firstly, people are not that perceptive, and besides it’s very rarely ever about us—we’re only part of the reality to be catered for; a whole system to be kept tuned, operative and in balance. If everyone got their own way where would we be?

What’s more, people in control have their own needs and wants to consider. Yours may factor in their calculations but it’s not unreasonable to think they’ll probably be the least of their concerns.

It’s rather fascinating that notwithstanding the above, many of us have entertained the fallacy that others will have our interests centrally at heart. Therefore, we have “invented” a raft of expectation that would almost certainly not be delivered. No wonder we got annoyed.

Yet, whose fault was it? Who held people to account on false pretences?

It’s inevitable that we will not—of ourselves—have the currency, position, wit or favour to achieve our wants and needs quite a lot of the time. Whenever we are in the position to help ourselves we’re best advised to approach with caution in any event. Greed is generally the more consistent part to valour; discretion not getting a look in.

When we do have to ask we best previously do our homework, defining the need or want tangibly, and include some cogent justification. Succinctness is our ally. Brevity has power for us, and a mood of acceptance should surely go with it.

Getting what we want or need first time, every time sounds impossible to achieve; possibly it is i.e. impossible. Yet, it ought not to be—if only we can: 1) do what has just been discussed, with ingenuity; and 2) continually re-adjust our desires to fit our reality, always.

Simple recipe? Perhaps, but it’s when we keep life simple we have the best opportunities to truly achieve our inner goals.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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