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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sticking “It” Out – Marital Bliss Abounds, Eventually

“Sometimes when you have come through a bad patch, you can ask ‘what was that all about?’ That is why it is worth staying until you are out the other side.”

~Janvrin & Selleck.

Clear view beyond the shade of the trees and the shroud of thick cumulonimbus cloud, the previously troubled relationship takes on a strange lightness. Both partners look bemused at each saying, ‘Go figure.’

Relationship outcomes can go many ways, but it is two particular ways that most magnify our focus: does the relationship survive or does it fail? That’s the sixty-four million dollar question it seems.

Having fallen into the latter realm and faced the pain of separation and divorce (against my desire and will) I’m just absolutely thrilled to see two people go face-to-face and commit to working out their problems—years after, celebrating their hard work and collective wisdom to ‘get through’ the tough patch.

The fact is I’d like a single dollar for every time I’ve heard separated and divorced people say they wished for their time over; that they wouldn’t have given up so easily—that they would’ve tried harder if they knew what they knew now. Yet, it’s too late. Time travels on and people change and adjust to their new circumstances. Hardly ever can love be re-kindled when the bond’s been broken.

It bodes every truly in-love-once couple to try and hold out for their partner and their marriage. If both are equally fervent in their commitment to the marital bond, and are prepared to be honest with themselves and the other, and go to any lengths, then a happy marriage it can be. It won’t happen overnight but it will happen, eventually.

Marriage problems are as common as lawn beetle. It’s getting through the problems that characterises you as a person and your partnership as that akin to something of God i.e. worthy of all the work involved.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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