Love runs the entire world, and if
we think that’s rubbish we just need to think about how we respond to many
variations of acceptance and rejection that come our way. We all desire to be
loved, but rarely is it natural for us to want
to love.
If we are serious about love,
about getting love right, and protecting ourselves by loving in advance of
others’ love, we will want to get real about it; really real.
Let’s think of love as an acrostic.
We can arrange L.O.V.E.:
Listen when other people are speaking.
Overlook pettiness, common faults, and forgive failures.
Value other people for who they are.
Express
love in practical ways.
Let’s explore those in greater
detail:
1. Listen
We all like to be listened to, so
it’s ironic that we prefer to speak rather than listen. Good listeners are so
scarce. But if we are prepared to listen with an open mind and heart we find
the simplest way to love someone by our communication. Most people are pleasantly
surprised that we are interested in them enough to listen.
2. Overlook
There are so many petty things
that prove as stumbling blocks before us. We are frustrated by the most
innocuous things. But when we have perspective—more of the God viewpoint—we
find it easier to overlook common lapses and to forgive innocent mistakes.
We must ask ourselves, “How
important is this issue, really?”
3. Value
Valuing all others for who they
are, despite the temptations to judge or limit our expression of love somehow,
is very simple, but we don’t do it that well ordinarily. Particularly in our
family members’ lives, we are placed there to love them beyond our
prejudices. They are their own people, responsible for their own choices, and
we should respect them for that.
Valuing others for who they are is
perhaps the greatest gift of love, where no fear breaches the relationship.
When we value others for who they are, more freedom is enjoyed by all (except
those driven by an anger-laden inner fear).
4. Express
What is love if it cannot be
expressed in practical terms? Others are blessed in our creativity to innovate
around love. We use our imaginations, finding ways of doing, saying, or giving
nice things to those we are in contact with, or simply by spending time with
them.
***
Loving people is made simpler when
we 1) listen intently to them, 2) overlook minor problems
with a forgiving attitude, 3) value people for who they are, and
4) express
our love in creatively innovative ways.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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