This is something I learned in
training to become a counsellor: to
observe the felt state when a client
pushes a button in their transference. When we are able to simply observe
how we feel in the midst of being hurt, we are able to control our response,
protecting others and ourselves in the process.
Obviously this takes some
strength. But awareness is the key.
There may be no better way to
arrange instantaneous healing within our interactions than being so self-aware
that we remain, to ourselves, under constant monitoring.
When we can manage such a thing as
to be so self-aware we protect others and ourselves, potentially dangerous
emotional situations are cooled safely before
they can explode.
Learning a Very Valuable Discipline
It’s actually a great blessing to
have trained ourselves, with God’s help, to be self-aware in private and social
situations. It’s like we are on guard, ready for trouble, so as to respond in
wisdom.
In a one-on-one interaction, we
never know what might crop up, or what might be said, or how it might be said.
We can’t always protect ourselves in advance. But we can train ourselves to
watch our emotions; even down to funny feelings in the gut, tension between the
shoulder blades, the encroaching headache, or unusual muscular tension.
Much of this is unconscious
anxiety playing out psychosomatically.
When we are watchful of how we are
feeling, and are able to sense when something is wrong, we become more on guard
for ourselves, and are readier for conflict of many different sorts.
This is a very valuable discipline
that we engage in by increasing our emotional intelligence. God has to sponsor
such a thing. We cannot really achieve a better self-awareness without God’s
help, for we are not humble enough of our own.
Access to Healing
God heals us in practical ways by
our constant and situational self-reflection.
When we engage in honest
reflection, we worship in Spirit and in truth (John 4:24).
Self-reflection in the midst of
interaction, when we have trained ourselves enough to engage in it, is access
to healing—healing for the moment—and healing before damage takes place.
It’s healing before we need ‘healing’.
***
Having the discipline to observe
our emotions, including bodily warning signs of feeling, is the gift and benefit
of healing. All we need to do—when we feel even remotely upset—is enquire
within, “Why am I feeling this way?”
Exploring signs of emotion helps
us deal with anger, fear and sadness before they get away from us.
© 2013 S. J.
Wickham.
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