For the many, this will be a pipedream—to end the journey of hurt and pain; relational hurt and pain.
Let us face some facts: nobody is beyond hurt and everyone has buttons, that, when pressed, light up an alarm panel of stinging and putrid rejection. Everyone, of course, has different ways of dealing with such a thing. Some just dismiss it out of hand. Others take it more to heart. The latter is not weaker than the former, just different, and perhaps more relationally caring.
We should not pretend that ending the journey of hurt and pain will be an easy one. What seems so simple from the outside is calamitously complex from within.
We cannot do it without God.
This is the point. The only way through to any semblance of healing from the hurt and pain of relational conflict that was buried long ago, or may have even been recent but that which really wrangles, is through the power of God to give us the temporary power to make a decision, commit to an action, and then carry that action out.
Sometimes these actions need to be ongoing. Day upon day we have the same challenge. The sustainability of such actions will be tested. We may fear giving up. That is a rational fear.
We are all susceptible to such fear.
And because we are relational creatures, our fears, mostly, come about because of the relationships. The world would not be one tenth as complex if it wasn’t for other people who are so different from (or perhaps too similar to) ourselves. It’s not their fault any more than it is ours.
Our opportunity is to forgive—this day; no delay. To set ourselves free from the bondage of having our thoughts stolen away and our feelings held to ransom, because we are hurt, is the answer of God, due our simple yet comprehensive obedience of surrender.
We know such a word, yet we do not like it. It requires sacrifice on our side of things. We are the hurt, yet we are the ones that have to do the work. It just seems more unfair.
But as we take the initiative, we wrest the control of the situation.
It’s the only thing we can do, yet it is the only thing we need to do. When we are prepared to give the smaller issue away, we gain the larger issues of life. When we reject our feelings of rejection and embrace any sense of acceptance that is real for us, we experience the feeling of healing. But the source of acceptance needs to be a healthy one.
Surrendering these things that have held us captive for too long is peace and release. A life that started large, yet, because of hurt and pain became small, gets large again, and beautiful in its experience of God through our relationships.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.