“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the
vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
— Mark Twain (1835–1910)
Such a liberating truth is this
one that we may stand amazed at the power we can redeem for ourselves and our
social situations for simply getting out of the way of the delusion of control.
Hazard to say, we do not control
our world. The moment we think we do the emotions go awry. It is good to know
this. It is good that it is front of mind in the tremulous moment, for we will
all find the experience for anger. We will all be pushed too far.
There comes a time for all of us where
logic gets tossed out the window. Then what?
Acknowledging the Delusion and the Trick
In some ways we have covered the delusion;
that we can control our world—and with it, our emotional space. We cannot;
neither one, nor the other. But now we come to the trick.
Whether we think that the devil
has invented this anger as a trick or not is perhaps irrelevant. What is
poignant, though, is the matter of the consequence
of unbridled anger, whether it is seething or spewing.
Seething anger eats away at us
quietly, but in vitriolic ways. We burn from within, and what is burnt is
somewhat destroyed. That is not to say that the tissue within the vessel cannot
be healed. But healing will require amending the cause of the distress.
Spewing anger harms our
relationships because we cannot retrieve the words once they are born into the
world. But we are wrong if we think the other person is still hurt more than we
are. Sure, they will be hurt and they may never forgive us, but we, at the same
time, and for a longer time, will not forgive ourselves. Whether we acknowledge
that or not is beside the point. Evidence of self-condemnation is a lack of
peace and the eventual investment in the lies of denial. Deeper below our
conscious thinking state resides the unconscious thinking states where an
invisible judge sits and passes judgment. We may call it the conscience.
Uncontrolled anger is the villain that stands trial and it’s prosecuted every
time justice is invoked.
***
Anger that is born in attempting
to control our world is both a delusion and a trick. Most anger is a boomerang
that has a surprising sting about it. Having flung that boomerang of vitriolic
hurt we become stung by the boomerang as it comes back with as much force as we
deployed it with in having flung it in the first place.
Anger’s a
boomerang we fling,
But it often returns a sting.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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