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Friday, November 29, 2013

What Pushes Us Too Far and What To Do About It

“Without apologies, anger builds and pushes us to demand justice.”

― Dr. Gary Chapman, The Five Languages of Apology

INJUSTICE is rife over the earth in dimensions we merely scratch the surface on. And, yet, we cannot get over the injustices that invade our lives. They swarm in and take over. And we are left seemingly defenseless. But there has to be a safe way out.

When a person takes matters into their own hands we can assume, most of the time, there is some validity to their anger – their anger is an indignant one. What they are truly angered by is the transgression at the hand of a hurt person, for:

Hurt people hurt people

When hurt people are in a position of influence – and we all have positions of influence, e.g., the parent over the child – the opportunity to transgress a person is palpable. The formula for oppression could well be: hurt person + influence = relational transgression.

And, the fact is, we all get hurt from time to time. We transfer our unconscious anger onto people, sometimes without even wanting to. We have to be wary of ourselves when we are in positions of influence (all the time) in relational settings. We have power and the motive, and therefore the opportunity, to transgress.

Now we can see how it is that another person has transgressed us, and, without an apology that fits our requirements, that we have been pushed too far. The battle field is resentment, even though we may hate even being there – the ‘pacifists’ we are.

It is obvious: for very rational reasons we can often be pushed too far.

Protection Against Being a Hurt Person

Gird this advice in tension with the fact that we are all only minutes from being hurt, especially if our relationship with the Lord isn’t particularly safe and strong.

We are hoping to be people who can operate in a way that we can get beyond the hurt position – so we will need protection, which I see is an anointing from God that we can pray over our lives, such that the Spirit can avail us to power in this regard.

This was the idea sown into me ten years ago now; it has worked a vast majority of the time: “I can neither hurt, nor be hurt. I cannot damage anyone, nor be damaged. I am against nobody, and nobody is against me.”

Whether these statements agree with the facts you know about yourself or not is irrelevant. The key is our willingness to come under the Spirit’s protection – to be anointed to love and be loved – to truly become a peacemaker, a peace-creator, a peace-sustainer. We can promote peace when we are so protected in love that the enemy’s barbs just cannot stick.

We face a spiritual battle; not one with the flesh.


Hurt people hurt people and we are incensed by the lack of apology regarding the injustices we experience. But, just as much, we can climb to a position above being hurt, by simply being aware that God’s Spiritual protection can be invoked. This is about seeking God to become the person who has no enemy and can be no enemy.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

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