One wonders what price there is for love,
Yet all wondering is stopped abruptly in loss,
Suddenly when that loved one is called above,
We are left confused, overwhelmed and blatantly cross.
There is a price for love and there is something that is demanded from us the moment we lose that love – that demand is grief.
There is little wonder, I suppose, that many people try to settle for a safe life without love. The fear regarding the cost is felt too great. The losses, though they may not have been experienced yet, are too great. A ‘safe life without love’ is a forlorn measure, because we cannot not love and not betray ourselves.
Even though God has given us free will, he has forced us to love if we would live a true life – a life of truth. But, for all of us, though we aspire to live a life of truth, we cannot, so we end up being stuck in the middle – loving with reckless abandon, yet hopelessly ill-prepared for loss.
We have to cut ourselves slack. We will love. We will lose. We will grieve. To grieve is not wrong. To grieve is right. It is a memorial of our love.
Making Something of Hopelessness into Something of Power
I believe there is always a way to do better with what seems an unfair process of life. My belief is based out of a knowledge of God; that God has made a way for anyone to live a life of true power.
God wants us to live lives that are full of extravagant love for those we have been called to love – and he provides a way for us to do this without harming us.
We have to get around thinking that grieving is wrong. Grieving is not wrong; it’s normal. Grief comes as a transaction of love when we have lost. Grief is incredibly painful, exhausting, confusing, overwhelming, frustrating, and life-delaying, but what is profoundly sorrowful is not also wrong.
When we understand that grief is a process of life all its own, we take the pressure off. Sure, it will take a while – and too long, generally – to feel better more days than not. And ultimately, if we believe God is in control, and that he has a purpose beyond the pain of our grief, we shall grow through the pain.
Healing doesn’t for one moment mean that we won’t miss that loved one. Love is eternal and memories are unchangeable.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.