Unification is at the heart of losses shared in a community that cares.
I met a lady who had
lost her baby hours after he was born. Like us, they knew the trajectory of
loss they were on; that the inevitable light at the end of the tunnel – a freight
train – was coming and what was coming could not be stopped. We shared the
numbingly shrill moments of waiting for the inevitable moment to come. What
would it be like? Would we fold under its weight? Will we be enough for our
partners? And, would we be able to sustain ourselves in the vast cosmos of
grief that would ensue.
I spoke with a
grandparent about the loss of one of their children’s babies. The baby died at
just over 24 weeks gestation – meaning, from a legal viewpoint, a funeral had
to be prepared for. A young mother who was distraught beyond words had to
endure something nobody should have to endure – all the focus and attention at
the wrong time for all the wrong reasons. But such things draw us to love. They
make us rely more on God. We agreed that, the fact we were talking about this,
was a unifying thing; and that we would all pray for this young family and
indeed my family.
The fact that we
have experienced something very painful – but that which was made much easier
by our faith in God and his abundant grace through the plethora of prayer we
received – that others, too, have faced brings us together in love.
This is much cause
for celebration.
***
What a great power it is to share our
experience, be heard, and receive the empathy God knows we deserve. Doubled is
the power when we have the opportunity to encourage the person who listened to
us.
When those who have suffered similar
things find themselves in conversation healing can occur. Not through advice,
nor through judgment. But through the simple sharing of experiences, we get to
hear ourselves speak, we give voice to our emotions, and we open the door to God’s
healing.
We are stronger, not weaker, for
talking about our losses, especially as we speak with those similarly affected.
To talk with freedom, to walk with
grace, and to sit in our pain; these are great aids to the process for healing
the grief we experience in our losses.
© 2015 S. J. Wickham.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.