The “Attraction” Elephant

“Being in a committed partnership doesn’t stop us being attracted to other people, but it should stop us doing anything about it.”

~Janvrin & Selleck (Italics in original).

THERE’S NO SHORTAGE OF BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD. Beauty can, of course, be both internal (especially internal) and external.

The trouble is when we don’t give honest voice to the elephant in every room we begin living a lie. All people will find themselves attracted to others. This doesn’t change when we become committed to a partner of our very own. Indeed, at times it becomes even more obvious.

Like all people I cannot help finding attraction in certain people; I’d like to think all people I’m especially attracted to i.e. the opposite sex, as simply my sisters so as to keep things purely platonic at all times. How would you treat a sister? A reverent respect (as if to never to do any harm to them) goes with the attitude of interaction, though with sisters, of course, there’s no such thing (or shouldn’t be) as attraction. Though what must go with it is a strong and indelible sense of integrity, for women will naturally be drawn to such “platonic” virtue.

Being an ex-body builder I naturally appreciate form and good toned muscle mass, in both genders. For me it is also eyes that have it; have you ever wondered what it is about eyes that engage our curiosity so much? But realistically, for you and I, there’s a plethora of reasons to become attracted to someone.

Attraction is bound to happen.

What we do with it is entirely a different thing. I’ve heard of concepts like ‘bouncing the eyes’ and these seem to work quite well. As soon as we notice ourselves taking more than a glancing interest in someone (especially the opposite sex, when we’re committed or they are, or for any other reason of moral wrong) we should acknowledge our awareness and use our will to re-focus—immediately.

Whilst it might feel good to look and imagine, it can only really lead to harm—for us and them. It’s for our best in the longer run simply to turn away.

Make a habit of it. You’ll miss nothing, really.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.