SHIFTING GOALPOSTS

Eavesdropping on noisy strangers deep in mobile phone conversation is an unfortunate and at times annoying penchant of mine; I’d prefer not to hear, but some insist on “sharing” their conversations with me.

On one particular occasion recently, a woman was sounding off to a friend about a business colleague who she necessarily sought the approval of. ‘He just won’t engage,’ she said, continuing, ‘The last crew were very good and he rated them ordinary; this one last night were woeful and now he’s singing their praises!’ She really sounded quite exasperated.

My immediate reflection was how difficult it is in relationships (personal and work) when the goalposts are continually shifting.

It was a reminder for me as a parent and also as a person providing leadership in the workplace and elsewhere that people who rely on me must really require a firm and sound basis for what I expect of them, and them of me.

If we flip our views with the changing winds people are most certainly going to become jaded with us and life in general after a while.

It’s always good not to add to people’s burden. People have ordinarily enough to be concerned about without us adding to it.

If we can be people in our relationships that are steady and not constantly changing our views or desires or perceptions, others around us are also free and able to readily feel safer and more assured in their views, desires and perceptions.

It may hardly warrant saying but it’s good to be a ‘safe place’ for people to come to.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.