Using (Not Abusing) Personal Power in Relationships

OF THE FIVE LEGISLATED POWERS of Leadership and Influence, personal power is by far the most charismatic and hence it’s the most alluring.

The person who enjoys the skills of holding this power stands at an important cusp. They hold not only power but an even more awesome responsibility; but how many squander their power because they’re grossly irresponsible?

But, a negative focus is not my aim.

There stands at the gates of this person’s reason, the divide of truth and grace. The manifestation of this person’s presence—and this applies to us all, for we all have personal power and influence—is weighed in balance regarding these two: truth and grace.

Truth and grace in equal portions is what I’m alluding to. It’s the “what” of truth and the “how” of grace i.e. what we do and how we do it. These presuppose the purposes of the person’s acts and the consequences of same. If they act with a great sense of personal power they do everything aligned with truth, and the way they act with people is tinged with grace.

Personal power needs truth and grace balanced and poised. Both are crucial, but it is grace that always needs to win out if there is any doubt. Truth alone backfires awkwardly at times as we’re left muddy-faced and scratching our heads. And grace alone, too, renders our efforts hardly credible and therefore ineffective. But grace is still more important.

The person with much potential for personal power i.e. because they’re likeable, charismatic, personable and humorous etc, can maximise their power for good by focussing on a wise blend of both truth and grace.

Truth is to run the person’s general attitude toward life and relationships. Grace, which is kindness, generosity and forgiveness and a whole lot more, complements the aberrant commitment to truth, for truth alone is too harsh. Like the tempering of hardened steel makes that steel effective for its purpose, making it not too brittle, grace makes relationships palpably joyous, useable and free. Grace saves in the emotional bank account what can be used on a rainy day.

Grace in relationships really is the greatest thing; it’s the meld of a thousand forms of indivisible love.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.