WE
LIVE in a cause-and-effect world. Things that happen have what Isaac Newton
called an equal and opposite reaction. Emotional processes are certainly not
exempt. Whatever happens to us has an effect. We can neither deny it nor can we
make more of it than we’d wish.
It is
what it is – our emotional process.
What
goes inward must, of a sense, be processed, where meaning is made; where
meaning rummages around in the vessel, sometimes coming out in unexpected ways.
There
are times when we can’t possibly predict how we will feel as a result of
something that has happened. We can always explain it better from the aspect of
hindsight, but hindsight is not a gift we get in advance.
So, we
are left with our emotions – those that result for our perception of justice.
Justice,
of course, is clearly another matter. But we can be sure that our justice is
faltering in contrast to true justice: reality. Pride – the ego – tends to
twist our realities in favour of us and those we are kin with. So, our emotions
can be ransomed. The closer our relationship with God – that sense of vertical
self – the better is our awareness and our ability to receive the truth humbly.
When Anger is an
Indication of Relief Needed
We should judge our anger much less than we
do, in my opinion. We are too harsh on ourselves, and, as a result, we get
despondent and then we are more likely to get angry – it’s a vicious cycle.
When we have a bearing or a gauge for our
anger – when we feel the heat rising – we then stand on a precipice. If we act
to deal with ‘us’ by enquiring “What is going on here,” we may then simply take
a short time out to reflect, which is safety. That’s all our higher minds need
in bringing some sense of integrity to our thinking – to take the pressure off.
When
we are especially sad or fearful we are more prone to anger. It’s the process
of transference at work. What builds up must find expression, and safe
expression is unlikely to be found in the actual direction of our sadness or
fear, unless we are aware and okay to travel truthfully in its direction – ah,
that’s in the direction of healing!
This
is why we take our anger out on those we love; they won’t reject us, or at
least they will take more of our garbage than some would. But the better way is
to recognise why the anger presents in the first place. It’s not about them,
but it’s about our own lack. That acknowledged – that it’s our own lack and not
really about them at all – we can call our presenting emotions for what they
are. There is no need to spew our anger over others in ugly transference.
***
Anger
is the indication of relief that’s needed. We are more prone to anger when we
are sad or fearful. Simply knowing that anger is caused by sorrow or fear helps.
It helps us control our emotions so others won’t be damaged; so that we have
options like reflecting instead of ranting.
Our
best ally regarding anger is self-understanding – an understanding that God can
pour into us by his Holy Spirit.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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