THIS IS for all
the men out there, myself included, who occasionally need a wake-up call: like,
“Wake up, start treating your woman like she means something to you; start
being considerate; start talking to her like you are interested in her; and,
start loving her as you did once long ago.”
There is probably
an equivalent sort of message for women, too, like, “Don’t forget to respect
who he is and what he does; don’t assume he likes taking the lead all the time,
but, all the same, stop taking the lead as much as you do.”
But this article
is called, “Wise Up, Buddy,” for
good reason. It’s intended for men to read it and reflect over it. Not to
guiltify them, but as a straight-edge to check themselves upon.
Why would I be
qualified to write such a piece? Well, I’m a guy who has been on both sides of
the fence – I’ve failed a wife by not wising up, in causing her endless
frustration, and I’ve also experienced firsthand the frustrations of those
young women I counsel who are sick of their partners taking advantage so much,
or not investing emotionally in the relationship, etc.
Relationship
incongruence is the big activator of conflict – mostly where there is the
perception in one partner that they are doing too much or the other partner is
not doing enough. It can be maddening to think that both partners feel they are
bearing majority burden – this is particularly true in certain different
dynamics. She feels she does too much of the housework, whereas he complains of
her expecting him to have the garden manicured every weekend. Both are probably
doing a good job, but both are probably underappreciated by the other – so far
as they are individually concerned. Such conflict has no winners, but there are
generally two losers.
For men, there has
always been the onus of responsibility for protection and oversight of the
family. He provides his partner with safety. She uses that assurance with which
to build the family home.
It is time we men
stood up in our integrity of our identity in Christ and resolved to make
biblically sound commitments to turn back to God, regularly, in respect of our
marriages.
***
A relationship with God helps us understand
our relationships with others. As men, we can seek God regarding our partnerships
in determining where we might be falling short. Revelation of falling short is
impetus to repentance: to love her more; to love her better.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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