TRUSTING the untrustworthy we find is a
thing we learned as a harsh lesson. We won’t go back there, or at least we’ll
endeavour to avoid it. But there is collateral damage, sometimes, as we
consider the consequences of having had our trust smashed against the rocks of
life, because we were betrayed or revealed or not respected.
Trust and respect run hand in hand. If one
falls, the other must invariably stop and return to the other; to help it up.
Having been hurt because our trust wasn’t
respected, we stood there before God thinking, “Argh, What is the point?”
Viscerally angry, yet so unsafe within ourselves out in the world, we learned
to close off and retreat for a time. We needed rest, and recovery was the
season – against our own wills – that we entered. But sense within us led us to
trust God at least in this.
Playing with Recovery Notions and Emerging
from the Cave
We know that, upon entering the cave of our
seclusion, we needed to, despite what others said. Sometimes it’s only when we
are by ourselves that God can actually say those things to us, silently and
without distraction, that we need to hear.
These things we hear from the still, small,
inaudible voice of the Spirit we learn to trust, for who are we if we cannot trust what comes from within us; that which
we know to be of our best interest.
This is the confirmation we need: that God
is in the voice.
Time taken away is, though it seems such a
waste, that we are missing out, is never a waste at all. Time taken out is the
recovery we need, that God knows we need – to find ourselves in the midst of
not only the hurt, but in the truth of his unfailing love.
Playing with recovery notions is the way to
prepare for emerging from the cave. At some healthy point we stop rummaging
through the hurt, the losses, the embarrassment, and the bitterness, and we
begin creating.
We begin to create our renaissance. We
begin to picture what resurrection looks like in our own skin.
***
Learning to trust again is initiated when
we trust God again. The Lord will lead us; his Spirit will guide. In the
meantime, we have learned a greater portion of awareness; we have grown in
wisdom regarding who is worthy of our trust. We have a newfound strength for
being assertive and a new passion for doing God’s will.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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