When we approach such a diverse topic as love is, we have to tackle it at a high enough level so our answers hold across the board.
The key to love is a simple secret that’s so logical as we hear it, we easily miss it. To love is to give, and to be loved is to allow receipt. (Many people have a problem with one of these two, or both.)
Additionally, the key to love is giving at all times without thought of receipt in return — as far as that’s humanly possible.
Loving More Attractively
Loving more attractively is essentially about giving — in a way that seems without thought, but that has much prior thought about it. This means the giving is well planned, or committed beforehand — though it can be instinctive — and the transaction is quick and sure.
For love (or giving) to look attractive it has to come from the heart; we have to mean it. The more and better we’re doing it, the more we’re thinking in the mindset of humility, and the less we’ll be plagued with selfish thought for our own — what we might be missing out on, for instance.
The irony out of this is, when we least think of loving or giving attractively is when it will tend to happen that way. We don’t want to fall for trying too hard. We want to be natural givers.
We all desire — some even crave — acceptance. Being loved is acceptance, as being unloved is being rejected. We all desire to be desired; to be wanted.
But, for this too, we can try too hard.
It’s best we relax and put what we can to work; that is, to actively love, without thought for what we’re getting. Starting out is a matter of mental discipline, but implicit love grows.
Attracting love is possibly also about doing what is lovely, without thought for recompense, because we love to do it. Activity for good tends to attract its own love.
Attracting love is also about receiving love well. Grace is required to allow people to love us, knowing that everyone’s love should be embraced, for this is another way we love people; by allowing them to love us.
This is the key to love, that we’d be living and loving sacrifices, presented to God — holy and acceptable — for his further disposal of works that lay ahead. (See Romans 12:1-3.)
This is joy. It is peace. It is the light of hope.
This is giving without any thought of receiving back; in fact, it’s getting to a point where receiving back is avoided if it can be, for God’s love — in terms of grace — many times goes unrequited. God never scowls when we don’t thank him, but he knows it’s best for us that we do.
Likewise, sacrificial love is like grace. It requires and seeks nothing.
© 2011 S. J. Wickham.
This article is part two of a two-part series; it finds that there are central portents that must be achieved if we’re to love and be loved. It follows part one — The Science of Love — which discussed love in broad terms, making it easy to identify with.