Reading Playboy magazines and
watching the odd “blue” movie may have been typical for most of us in our
curious teenage years. The more our parents shunned it, the more curious we
became. Yet, the world has changed. Teenagers today are ensconced by an
unrelenting Internet that gives them instant access to harder porn we ever saw,
and, at any time of the day or night they choose. This porn can involve
predatory behaviours and sexual acts involving children and animals, and it is
particularly damaging regarding women’s roles in sex. Worst of all, it is
desensitising otherwise gentle minds.
Children younger and younger are often
exposed to more lethal material than would ever have come past our eyes.
The Advent of “Pack” Mentality
Part of the male biology and
psychology—innately wired into masculine form—is the predilection to hunt. But
what is a vital survival instinct is dangerous when it isn’t tempered by mature
males supervising the less mature males. Simply put, young men and boys don’t
have the male role models they often need to become men.
It’s nothing new that our First World society has lost the meaning of manhood.
As a result we see boys flocking
together, without significant positive “strong” male role models, and their
pack mentality runs wild. The potential grossness of their acts whilst they are
in their packs runs to the extremes as they seek to outdo each other. And even
if some of the well-cultured boys are put off they are less likely to raise any
protest; no one wants to be taken as a “sissy”.
At the extremes, and, not wanting
to scare anybody, but this does occur, packs of boys go out in hunt for young
girls alone, preferably virgins. They may even go out with a plan to pack
assault. It is a collision of disastrous proportions when girls go out dressed
up, and end up alone and in compromised positions. And when such crimes are
committed we can expect that the young girl’s life, beyond a miracle of grace, will
be ruined, such is the malicious intent and damage done.
The Importance of the Father’s Role
Not all families have a father, so
the duties below may fall to an influential other person, preferably someone
the kids concerned can look up to. Typically teenagers may be beyond the advice
of parents.
We need to find a way of getting
this message into them early.
Boys, as are girls, are hungry for
intimacy, but they just don’t know how to establish an intimate relationship
and be a “man” at the same time. The father figure must establish within them
this sense of worth to be more the complete
man; one who is able to get in touch with his feelings.
A real man has emotional courage
as much as physical courage.
An influential man, preferably the
father, needs to instil in the boy that the primal urge for intimacy is just as
strong at the primal urge for sex is. And if the boy is not connected to his
intimacy, and he rampantly explores his sexuality, particularly as it abuses
another person, he will need drugs and alcohol to dull the primal pain his soul
will emit, because his lack of intimacy is hurting another person. The
influential man can also instil in his daughter that she is so much more than a
piece of meat; that she has every right of the highest respect from men. He
should instruct his sons, too, that girls and women are to be held in the
highest respect.
We have to believe in this root of
intimacy—that men, not only women, have the need to love and be loved. To
commit sexual assault is not only an assault on another person; it is an
assault on our person, too!
***
We need to get into the minds of
boys and girls from an early age about the dangers of online pornography. If we
don’t, we put them in the way of great harm. This is no gentle warning; what
kids have access to these days is far more sinister than most of us realise. We
need to talk to them about the importance of intimacy in balancing sexual desire.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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