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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Friday, February 14, 2014

365 Valentines Days

My Valentine,
My Valentine,
I love you so,
Day after year,
Let’s watch
Our love grow.

To become better

At this husband thing,

Is my goal,

I love you,

I love you,

Your mind, heart,

And soul.

For my wife.


“If every lover was treated like they matter — everyday; Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be so ‘special’.”

― Mokokoma Mokhonoana


When we are in love, life is surreal; it has been touched by God. Each day – with few exceptions – we are plausibly thankful for God’s gift of a partner who we are swimmingly delighted with.

But, so many do not experience life like that at all. Some are without love. Others are abused and/or neglected by their ‘lover’, and others, again, have lost a great love and their delight has turned into despair.

Those of us who have been gifted to love, who have received an outlet for our love; we are very blessed. But blessing is a transient thing in this world. Circumstances change. We take too much for granted. Only after blessing has come and then gone for good do we lament our loss. Rarely are people sufficiently grateful – at the time of love’s deployment – for the love in their lives.

Valentine’s Day is a grand clue to this.

For one day – February 14 – we are compelled to love our lover. The commercial world has made much of it, and, we too, have made a lot of it, if we have recognised love’s true importance. Some of us have railed against the singling-out of one special day (of the full 365) to focus the extravagance of our love.

But the point is this: we need to apply our Valentine’s Day efforts evenly over the full year. Why would we not buy flowers, say kind words, and spend time with our partners on days other than February 14? Why not, indeed? We probably don’t think of love so intentionally every day, but the important ones – Valentine’s, his or her birthday, Christmas, etc – get fuller treatment.

Valentine’s Day isn’t as special to the one who intentionally puts their lover first most days, but there is an exceptional person who raises the bar on this particular day. Most, however, see through the con that Valentine’s Day is, and the best laugh it off and take part in it anyway – refusing to be offended by a fabrication of one’s own imagination.


Love is important enough to rein over our entire lives. When we spend our Valentine’s efforts over the full 365 days we are granted continual blessings of love and we have less need of regret when loss invades and pillages our joy.

© 2014 S. J. Wickham.

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