I don’t often ‘blog’, preferring to use my life experiences and my experience of God’s revelation to me in generalised non-personal devotional writings. But you make an exception when something unprecedented — and even something you hadn’t prayed for — occurs.
About 1.45pm on a Thursday afternoon, having skipped class to look after my son, and having done some administrative work, and also having ridden my bike into the CBD and back, I found myself casually browsing Facebook. Then I had an experience I didn’t expect. No heat in the chest, just a peaceful sense of love toward persons I’d been struggling with. This is the sort of experience I’ve learned to notice — like God’s still small voice to Elijah, God was healing me with the gentle breeze of his Spirit and I could so easily have overlooked it. But, because I was in a reflective peace-lit mood, I noticed what had been lifted.
Here is my Facebook update:
God has healed my heart again. He has softened my soul. Only He could do such a miraculous thing. And all I did was take a deeper-than-usual look at myself. He did the rest. He used two mentors, two days ago. I have nothing against anyone right this moment. I am, as of this moment, ready to be with Jesus. I love the example of His Cross. Please pray for me. Lord, help me anchor into this softness of soul You have given back to me; I have so missed it. And nobody need ask me anything more about it. Love and God’s blessings to all.
I’m always wary of posting self-deprecating and self-promoting posts on social media, because I’m hounded in my own mind by the possible allusions to my own narcissism. But I was assured by my wife that this post was entirely appropriate for one and all, so I backed her judgment.
There were some relevant antecedents to this rare healing experience — the meetings with mentors who took no side, who mentioned “time” and “timing” as crucial factors of life, and a deeper-than-usual self-reflection.
But God does what only God can do.
He honours an honourable intent, and to be healed was certainly my hope — even though I had no idea what that looked like or how to get there.
And even though I accepted that many things were beyond my control I still yearned for justice. God has a reason for retaining these things as mysteries.
When we are healed we no longer yearn for justice. What we thought of as justice is now largely irrelevant. Only when we are healed can we leave justice entirely in God’s hand.
Hold out hope. Our miracles of healing are on their way when we are open.
© 2015 Steve Wickham.
I make a record of this event not only for my own history but also as record for truth. Many of us ministers, counsellors, and the like, are ever searching for processes that work toward viable and vibrant outcomes — healing no less.