I am prone to frustration as anyone
is, but there is a particular annoyance that impinges me. It is overload. It is
the clash between multiple tasks, a plethora of incoming communication, and
time pressure. I can bear other frustrations well, especially relational
frustrations.
But overload situations create
enormous conflict in me.
The trouble for me is, in being a
creative, I can feel at times like I’m force-fed with all kinds of thoughts,
sayings, ideas, etc. And because my form of creative gift is through the words
I receive and give, it can cause great conflict in me as I seek to record
everything I’m given before I forget it… this can at times be impossible, if I’m
given more than a half dozen things simultaneously — which is not uncommon.
Add to this propensity for conflict
the need for me to ‘keep up’ with the incoming tasks, emails, texts, etc,
conflict is something I have an intimate relationship with. People might ask,
why is it you feel you need to keep up? It’s simple — I have a zero tolerance for
procrastination and inefficiency in most areas of my life. I hold to the ideal
that people are important, and their dealings with me are just as important. It
means I bear more of a burden than others might. It like to keep the peace. But
I also see myself as a peacemaker — I’m
prepared to break past my desire to keep the peace in order that true biblical peace
might be procured.[1] I am prepared to risk a relationship so reconciliation
can be achieved. This obviously adds to the conflict I bear within myself.
God showed me something recently about
conflict and peacemaking. He showed me there is a paradox for peacemakers. That,
in desiring peace as a God-pleasing way to live life, and in actively seeking
to create peace, peacemakers must endure much conflict.
See the paradox? Peacemakers may
experience more conflict than a person who can live with conflict.
I think peacemakers abhor conflict
more than most, and they dearly need to resolve it. The presence of conflict creates
a burden of conflict within a peacemaker. But that conflict is its own
opportunity — to acknowledge the conflict, deal with the frustration, and make
a commitment to overcome the conflict.
A relationship with conflict is
something we must accept. Once we accept that conflict is an essential precursor
to reconciliation, we see it as an opportunity.
[1] See peacewise.org.au
for more information on biblical peacemaking: “If
it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
(Romans 12:18 NIV)
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