Photo by Elijah Henderson on Unsplash
Friendliness is a wisdom that wins
every fight. It is impossible to fight someone who insists on being friendly.
It refuses temptation to hurt or be hurt, continuing to hope for the best in
the other person and the relationship.
Friendliness insists on the relational
ideal: I am no threat to you and you can be no threat to me.
It thrives on the belief that all
things are possible through believing in the other person’s capacity to respond
to and in love.
Friendliness must surely be a form
of godliness. There is nothing in it that can be restrained, for it is free to
love as surely as if there was no such thing as hurt.
Conflict is something that potentially
breaches both parties’ trust, but if a gentle and confident form of friendliness
is present in one, the other soon has the freedom to trust again.
Perhaps simply being friendly is a
beautiful mix of gentleness, kindness, meekness, patience, and compassion that
equals love. If I cannot be threatened and I can prove I am no threat to you,
we are both in a safe and good place, together.
Of course, friendliness has to be
underpinned by a good dose of humility, because pride is too easily threatened.
It must have faith to walk forward believing the best in another person who is
potentially assaulting us. It should also be impervious to fear; worry for
reputation and regard is not the domain of a person given to friendliness.
Friendliness transcends the option
to fight, opting instead for decisions that promote freedom.
Those with the gift of friendliness
must be wary, however, for everyone has the potential to be burned.
** Big disclaimer here as far as abuse is concerned. There are
people for whom friendliness won’t work.
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