Imagine a thought-world where you would
neither perceive the need to be defensive nor would you think in terms of
attack. All that would come into your mental processes would be dealt with in
an unemotional way, and everything communicated would also be conveyed without
negative emotion. Your relationships would be, in the main, positive.
Such a mental space would have no armour-plated
shell protecting what’s inside you by defending in counter-attack.
Being beyond defence and beyond attack is a
cherished state of the joyous life.
And whilst many may feel it is an
unrealistic goal, there is no question that to harness just some of it would be
beneficial.
Being Beyond Defence
Even though both issues are linked — being
defensive and attacking other people — they can, for the purposes of our
thought, be separated.
Being beyond defence is the ability to
manage our interactions in such a way that as we feel ourselves becoming
defensive, in the moment, we ask why,
without giving into the defensiveness if we can. The other person may not
intentionally evoke our defence. And they certainly don’t want to be attacked,
which is what a lot of defensive action consists of.
There are a plethora of reasons why we would
be defensive. There is no shame in it, because it is so common. But knowing why we are defensive, and not submitting
to our defensiveness, is the key.
We need to find ourselves in a position
where we cannot, or will not, defend ourselves, unless, by right action, we need to defend ourselves. In
other words, defences that lead to attack are the defences that we seek to
eradicate.
Defences that are necessary to protect our
safety are very good defences and should remain, always, for our safety.
When we understand that other people’s attacks
are them transferring their anguish and frustration onto us we can afford to
extend, to and for them, a little compassion. We can also understand our need
to get beyond attacking others.
Being Beyond Attack
Likewise, when we are in a position-of-mood where
we might attack others we are improperly positioned. Our scope for mental and
emotional vision has narrowed to the point where we see others as the enemy; like,
others are to be fought.
This is generally illogical.
Apart from times when we must attack to
provide for our safety, in order to get out of a dangerous situation, attack is
a highly inappropriate and insufficient response.
Being beyond attacking other people is about
being right-sighted about ourselves, and knowing about the threats to our emotional
and spiritual peace. When we are beyond attacking people we are safe to be
around. People trust and respect us.
***
The best people to be around are those who
are beyond defence and beyond attack. They are safe. We are at peace with
ourselves when we are neither defensive nor attacking. It’s a peace to ask God
to cultivate within us — a peace that gives to others.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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