STRUGGLES
are the definition of this life, especially in the context of family. Wherever
there is dysfunction struggles may be exacerbated. We have these dysfunctions
in us, not to mention the more complex dynamics present in interpersonal
relationships. Add to this the complexities of loving those we are bonded by
blood to – many familial clashes occur in many families.
Struggles
are obvious. Complexities in relationships, too, are obvious.
But
God has destined that we use these two things together – family support to help
in our struggles. And where there is no family, the presence of others who love
and care as family might. If we extrapolate the idea of family we may all find
the presence of caring, somehow, within our communities.
Here
is a process for realising help in our lives:
1.
Communicate – it’s no good bottling up the emotions
that come from conflict, whether the conflict is from an interpersonal
relationship or a frustration from within us alone. Engaging in conversation
with loved ones is a way we can get things off our chests. When we talk we give
voice to our emotions, we hear ourselves speak, and hopefully we get caring
feedback from the other person.
2.
Anticipate – we need to anticipate problems that may
come, by regularly considering them mindfully and discussing them. This is
about being mindful of our expectations as much as anything, and being prepared
for what might come. When we are prepared we may adequately respond.
3.
Reassure – how wonderful is it that we may provide
someone assurance, or be on the receiving end of authentic comfort. Family
members should be positioned and be able to give and receive support, as
reassurance, from each other. We need to be careful, however, that the
reassurance is not flippantly delivered, but from a heart of genuine care.
4.
Explore – when we have problems, and after we have
been heard, we have the opportunity of exploring our options. We are not hemmed
in as much as we often think we are. Options provide choice and choice is
empowering. Feeling empowered when embattled is the gift of the grace of God.
***
Family members can support each other when
they encourage communication, anticipate struggles before they come, reassure
each other, and explore options for empowerment.
Families are best placed to C.A.R.E. – Communicate,
Anticipate, Reassure, Explore.
So,
Encourage communication.
Anticipate struggles.
Reassure each other.
Explore options.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
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