The Push-Pull of Suffering to be Overcome

Complexity is the order of every moment of those stuck in the suffering of trauma — an existential state for the one confused and frequently overwhelmed by what life has dealt them.

“What cannot be talked about
can also NOT be put to rest,
the wounds continue to fester
from generation to generation.”
— Diane Langberg, PhD

Langberg mentions above is what she often talks about, regarding trauma in terms of its push-pull. This push-pull is the very manifestation of dissonance and discomfort and dysfunction at every turn. We may specify it as trauma or generalise it as suffering. The same facts pertain.

The reality is this: the things we need to talk about often hold us captive. Talk about them and we rip the scab off, and the fear is we doubt we’ll be able to control the bleeding. Or, hold it in a little longer, pretend the sore’s not there, but we know we lose a part of ourselves in such denial. It tends to toxify.

What’s to be done? One day we won’t be alive anymore. That day is sooner than any of us realise. And there will be those loved ones — our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren — who will survive us.

What happened to any of us who bear the scars of life, of trauma, of suffering, has the opportunity of stopping with us. We can resolve to put an end to whatever generational trauma we bear. This doesn’t mean it won’t flare up in a fresh iteration later. It also doesn’t mean we can prevent another different trauma from sucking life out of our descendants.

But we can do something in our generation. Courage of inner conflict is our opportunity. Yet with courage is also pain. As we bring to the surface those things that have held us impotent for so long, we enter a world of pain for the truths we utter, for the guilt and shame we face (which is not ‘us’), for the people we contend with in many cases who may resist our efforts.

While we’re alive, for such minutes and moments as these, now is the time to overcome the push-pull of suffering, which, in its very nature, is to accept the push-pull for what it is.

We do not want to talk about that which we much talk about.

But we must talk about it or we will continue to deny that which holds the key for life for those who come after us. And there will be more abundant life for us, also, on the other side of courage. In the meantime, we focus on the following:

In choosing joy,
because we wish for peace,
that brings abiding hope,
these facets of virtue become a legacy.

~

We must begin the process of honest,
courageous wrestling with the push-pull of our suffering,
proving by example how to overcome.

~

We must find safe spaces to talk
to have hope beyond
generational trauma and suffering.
That takes courage.

~

Generational trauma and suffering can as much be created in the present generation as it is carried over from past generations. And if we don’t do anything about it, it will mutate in and through the lives of those who go after us.

Photo by Melinda Gimpel on Unsplash