We are all ‘triggered’ by something

Recently I was triggered. Do you know what I mean? Survivors of abuse are often too well adept at feeling what we all feel from time to time, but others may not recognise triggering for what it is. Abuse ‘teaches’ us all too sadly to imprint these stimuli and they often catch us by surprise.

Triggering is a sign of trauma having made its way indelibly into our psyches, and it is also a phenomenon of facing such trauma again.

The point of this article is not to explain anything but to simply say, we are all triggered by something. This is helpful to trauma survivors because the very last thing they want, and the very first thing they feel, is shame for isolation, for being less-than others; of course, when we’re triggered, the last thing that runs through our minds is that others face the very same things. We feel all alone in the world, weak, vulnerable, out-of-control, and unworthy of being human—even if being triggered is all about being human!

I want you to know that although I’m not triggered every day, every single month of my life I’m triggered at least once. I don’t joke that I have something akin to a hormonal cycle. But it’s also the circumstances, the states of my relationships, and my perception of time, and how much control I have or don’t have, that are keys.

If there’s little or no stress in my life, everyone’s happy with me, I’m serving people well, being efficient and effective, and I have time on my side, there is nothing to trigger me. But we all know that life’s not like that all the time. Some weeks I know I just have to endure and be patient with myself and others. Other weeks everything runs well. But some weeks will feature a day or perhaps even two (usually not consecutively), or an evening when I’m under extreme attack. All sorts of horrid thoughts fill my mind. My heart is betwixt and between, and even people who seem to know me well would be surprised by how quickly I can descend.

But I’ve learned by now that “this too shall pass” and I’m thankful for that moment when spiritual clarity returns and I’m confident in myself again.

I’m thankful also that I have a life partner who can bear the struggle with me; who nudges me when I need it; who listens and isn’t afraid to speak.

Everyone has their hot buttons. Everyone is triggered by something, whether you suffer the effects of trauma or not. And for sufferers of trauma, there is encouragement; you are not alone, and you are human.

Go gently in your struggle, in that interminable moment when horrendous thoughts course through your mind. Give yourself and others grace when they are ‘reacting’ absurdly or seem to be right out of character. These are incredibly redemptive moments if we’re as gentle as we can be with one another.

Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash