Ever been spiritually abused by this one?

There are times in all our lives when we’re sound one moment, skittish the next. Some of us are like that by nature or personality. Some people cannot help it. And it certainly doesn’t make them any less spiritually mature. Think of people who are ‘thinkers’ rather than ‘feelers’. Are they more spiritually mature because they’re seemingly more emotionally stable?

When someone opens their Bible up to James chapter 1, and points to the sixth, seventh and eighth verses, and they look at you like “there is it, right there, see it?” you are forgiven for being either confused, upset, angry or despondent.

A mildly angry response would actually be appropriate. James in this verse is talking about the specific issue of doubting within the specific matter of prayer. Doubting of its own is permissible, one only needs to look at the majority of the Bible to see countless occasions where biblical figures more famed for their faith than you or I battling. Doubting, paradoxically, is a sign of faith. The sad thing with this verse is people who monster it to abuse others only look at the effect and impute it as the cause. Just because we may be double-minded or unstable occasionally doesn’t mean God doesn’t want good things for us. God knows we need encouragement, not our noses rubbed in our failures.

But this is just one ‘for instance’. So many Bible verses are used as cannon fodder for those who weaponise what was meant to be used for lifting others up.

There are times in my life where I’m tossed about on the waves, “blown and tossed by the wind.” The last thing I need at these times is a stern rebuke. What I needed was someone to sit, listen, affirm and encourage. Possibly a ten-minute chat. Sometimes that’s all it took for me to right myself. Yet, for many people and in many situations, the problems of life are far more complex than that.

When we only see the end results of someone’s waywardness, and we jump to the conclusion that they’re spiritually immature or lacking in some other way or “they’ll never make it,” we miss the opportunity to provide the care that the opportunity truly demands of us. We miss the opportunity to learn what they’re really up against. Some of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned came when God wanted to correct my ignorance assumptions. These have been some of my biggest A-HA moments. The humble person sees beyond judgement and looks for the real reasons people behave as they do.

It is spiritual abuse to reel out James 1:6-8 in response to someone being undependable who is genuinely grieving, depressed, anxious, or ailing for any reason.

Now, that is not to say those of us who have times of being unreliable or undependable want things to remain as they are. Most of us want better. The point of this form of spiritual abuse is it never leads to growth. It’s never the right way to lead someone in the faith. We can do much better coming from a standpoint of understanding. Then, we may find the Holy Spirit leads us in knowing what help they find is useful.

The maddening thing about being up and down emotionally is it’s never simple to emend, whether we’re in the moment or reflecting upon it later. The spirit of control that demands that complex issues be made simple never helps and can only hinder.

Let’s get one thing straight; spiritual abuse, or any abuse for that matter, doesn’t have to happen regularly or even more than once. Interacting with fellow humans is an honour and a privilege, and how they feel about our interacting with them is paramount. When we consider we all have the capacity to abuse people, God can give us the spiritual awareness to care in such a way that we don’t.

Photo by _Mxsh_ on Unsplash