You’re just the man I want to counsel

You’re the man I’ve encountered so many times, and indeed so many times have encountered in myself.  And I want to help you, as others have helped me.  Seriously, I do.

You don’t know this yet, because you haven’t experienced it—this new life—but I want to plead with you to do this journey by faith—I must plead with you, because you’ll hate every step of it at times.  You’ll think the world’s against you and that those who love you aren’t treating you right, but you must believe me: we ALL want what’s best for you.

You may be a husband and perhaps you’re a father too.  You rationalise the good things you’ve done, and you think that’s enough.  As you’re happy to settle for “good enough,” you secretly demand others do the same.  I say “demand” because nobody can really challenge you at this point in your life, because it’s your way or else.  Relationally, it’s absurdity.

Little do you know it or perhaps you inwardly do, you’re making life impossible for those who love you, those who don’t want to give up on you, those who are secretly praying there would be a heart change of humility take place within you.

I want to serve you, dear man, to help get you to that place where your heart has been renewed and humility overflows from within you, spilling out and into others lives.  Deep down, you, yourself, see the need of this miracle.

But you hold on to the old way with stubbornness.  The old way has got to go.

You’ve come to a precipice for such a time as this.  The crossroad is stark, bleak, and it evokes dread.  Suddenly, by circumstances beyond your control, you’re forced to choose between two ways of life—neither of which you’ve ever lived.

The way ahead is a brand-new way and that scares you to death if you’re honest enough to stop transferring your fear into anger, or worse rage, where those who love you walk on eggshells.

The truth is, if you’re anything like so many people, that is, people who keep rebelling against themselves, others, and life itself, you need to be brought to the valley of decision.

What seems like the worst reality of all—to have lost everything or to stare down a significant part of that reality—is actually the catalyst of the very best thing that could happen to you.

BUT.  This is the biggest BUT.

YOU.  Yes, you man.  It’s up to you.  Your strength will be gauged on whether your heart can submit to the work ahead of journeying humbly one step, one day at a time.  It takes tremendous humility to do that.  And everyone who knows you, and even as you know your present self, may doubt you have the fortitude to manage such a transition into a life that is so other-than what you’ve lived.

The key task: stay in YOUR stuff.

Of course, anyone can do it.  But it requires rigorous honesty and the ability to stay in YOUR stuff.  Indeed, that’s all that is required.  The moment you point the finger to blame another person is the moment you lose all power for change, and you regress back to who you’ve always been.

The key to your progress and transformation is staying in YOUR stuff, that is looking ONLY for your own negative contributions to conflict and relationships, confessing these, apologising, forgiving, reconciling, making amends.  That’s when you know you’re transformed.  When you LIVE that most if not all the time.

You’ll need mentors and accountability partners, and certainly nobody who will feel sorry for you, but people who can empathise whilst helping you stay in YOUR stuff.

I want to work with you.  I want to see the miracle happen in you that happened in me 18 years ago.  And please be assured, you can only do this journey with divine help, so I hope you’ll reach out and up.  I hope you’ll learn to listen, to consider what others are saying, and indeed that you truly begin to LIVE for others, for in that and in that alone is life.

If you read this and take this to heart, you’re the man I sincerely want to counsel.