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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Take Heart, Someone Has To Give In

EVER thought you’re the one to always give in? Well, take heart; someone has to. Progress can’t happen with people at loggerheads all the time. Something just has to give. And it might as well be you and me.

We get to hear of, and also experience directly, the hand of people who’ll go out of their way to ensure they get their own way, despite us and our “needs.” We shake our heads in confusion as to why people insist on having their own way leaving us to pick up their pieces.

Yet, the longer our blood boils the more likely we’re to become enraged and do something really stupid. We truly have to go the opposite way—if nothing else, to preserve our sanity. Yes, even though we look like we’re the ones who’re capitulating, we’re actually the ones who’re giving rise to any modicum of possibility and progress! It must start with us.

But this can only happen if we become less offendable.

This won’t make a lot of sense when you’re in the midst of conflict, but faith tells us to hold on and give this thing a chance. Becoming less offendable is the chief goal to true adulthood regarding relationships. It reserves its judgment and issues grace—that second chance upon second chance. It’s not that we let people wantonly trample us. The fact is we’re beyond being bothered about it; certainly as it concerns people who might choose to “trample” in any event, or who do so occasionally.

The fact is many people who have trampled us later reflect over it and then feel sorry and silly. They’ll often come back and apologise. If not, we can then fairly see ourselves as being “bigger” than the situation, and certainly bigger than them—at that time. But, underpinning this approach is a conscious compassion for those who insist on their own way—how horrible must it be to be that way?

Progress can’t happen without someone agreeing (with themselves) to “capitulate,” giving hope to things as they could be. Of course, wisdom dictates that there are many situations where we must exercise caution—given an inch some will pursue a mile! And certainly we have our roles with kids and subordinates; in these relationships we need to know when to give in, and not do it all the time. That would be a harmful outcome.

How many people are genuinely prepared to believe in other people these days—enough to give them their wishes with a smile?

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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