Enduring questions of life there are, and one of the best for a woman is “how do I
keep my man interested in me?” We’ve all heard how the guy is in it for the ‘thrill
of the chase’ and how women should ‘treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen’.
It seems to me that men are fascinated by a mystery: the woman
he doesn’t know, who is still an enigma, in his midst. But women are also
intrigued by such things. The difference seems to be the innate difference in
the psychology that sets men and women apart.
Men seem to be drawn to adventure on the one hand and rest on
the other. Mixing those together, we have recreation. Most men are quite
hands-on physically. Recent trends, however, place women closer to men in these
ways than ever. But women want substance in their men. The opposite could also
be said; but in different ways.
Perhaps more than ever the genders are equal.
***
Given that relationships of the romantic kind normally only have
a natural romance lasting six or twelve months typically, every relationship
needs much attention, care, intention, and commitment to continue on through
the important sustaining phase: loving
companionship.
Loving companionship is what holds spousal relationships
together. Both give to the other. Both enjoy the fellowship of the other,
despite ugly differences that cause disputes and conflict. But isn’t an
argument the spice of marriage? – Especially the making up part.
5 Ways Loving Companionship is Achieved
1.
Whatever he or she’s interested
in, so long as it’s healthy, ought to be encouraged. The opposite also fits –
unhealthy pursuits ought to be raised and discussed honestly. There has to be
room for tolerating and encouraging healthy pursuits of passion. Even better if
they can be shared together. If one partner is involved in or encourages the
other’s pursuits there is a good chance of reciprocation occurring.
2.
Wanting to be together, and also allowing
healthy time alone, inspires a safety that all companionate relationships
thrive on. Time alone allows the kindling of thought for the other. One worry
is if they want to spend excessive time with their friends. As always an
encouraging of balance (time with partner, time alone, time with friends) should
be appreciated.
3.
The physical relationship is
generally important to him. It may or may not be for her. If sex is important
for him and it’s not for you, try to engage him in discussion to see if a
compromise can be reached, and so you can be understood. If he understands you,
there will be much less pressure. If you are the one who enjoys sex more than
he does, be patient and experiment with his mood. It’s not about what you do or
don’t do; like you, it’s about the mood he’s in.
4.
You might be the sort of person
who loves being encouraged with words. If you are, and he’s not overly
communicative, try and not let it affect your self-esteem. The problem’s with
him, not you. But it’s not his fault if he’s trying. If he’s the one who seeks
to be affirmed by you, encourage him when it’s healthy for him to hear it.
5.
Gifts are important in all
companionate relationships of the romantic kind. You might enjoy flowers, and
he may not give many. It’s best not to be frustrated because gifts must come from
the heart. It’s no good complaining about his thoughtlessness. It would be
better to give him the occasional thoughtful gift and hope it’s a model for him
to follow. Again, pressure around gift-giving will only degrade the
relationship.
***
Being a faithful companion, always interested in maintaining the
relationship, is what most partners want in their partner.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
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