He was our little fighter,
He survived every test in the womb,
Only at the penultimate step,
Did he meet his final doom.
Now he’s gone and life’s settled down,
We have time to plan and prepare,
Looking forward to his first birthday,
Is a joy all too rare.
He survived every test in the womb,
Only at the penultimate step,
Did he meet his final doom.
Now he’s gone and life’s settled down,
We have time to plan and prepare,
Looking forward to his first birthday,
Is a joy all too rare.
***
Of recent, our son
has taken to watering his deceased younger brother’s potted plant; our choice
of way to commemorate Nathanael Marcus’ life.
For those out of the loop, or new
to the estate of our lives, our son, Nathanael, was diagnosed with
Pallister-Killian Syndrome as a result of tests prompted by abnormalities
discovered at the 19-week scan. We knew from about 24-weeks that our son would
not survive; that he simply would not have enough developed lung to breathe.
Because of our son’s rare condition, he was producing far too much amniotic
fluid, so my wife had no less than eight amnioreduction procedures to drain the
excess fluid – 17-litres were drained in total. We made weekly visits to the
hospital for the last three months of the pregnancy. Being that Nathanael could
have been born anytime, it was amazing that my wife’s uterus lasted until
36-weeks gestation. Unfortunately, the birth didn’t work out as we hoped;
Nathanael was not born to die in our arms, instead he was stillborn.
As we prepared for Nathanael’s
birth, we wanted a plan for commemorating his life. A potted plant was
purchased, as was a beautiful big blue square pot.
As I alluded to above, I’m amazed
how drawn to watering this particular plant our son is. There are also another
couple of potted plants given to us at the same time, and he waters these ones
next. It’s as if he knows who they are for.
We plan to prepare the plant to
be potted on what would be Nathanael’s first birthday (October 30, 2015) with
his ashes intact below the plant. It gives me such comfort to know that we will
not sprinkle his ashes – that we will retain them in the special urn the Cemetery
gave us.
***
We look forward to Nathanael’s
first birthday because we are planning a special commemoration; the burying of
his ashes. Nurturing Nathanael’s plant is becoming quite a family passion.
There is purpose in all our
traditions and keepsakes. They give us, the living, meaning as we continue
striding forward in our lives.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
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