Where is
God taking us in our marriages? Otherwise, what is his will for the union of
two into one?
Such questions are
primary for all of us who appreciate the sanctity of Christian marriage in
devotion to our spouse for the life now and all of that which is to come.
What must God want for us to think
and say and do in our marriages? How are we to discharge our ‘rights’ of the
other person (1 Corinthians 7:4)? How are we to forego our own body’s rights?
What does it mean that our spouse has claim on us?
These, and so many more questions,
are the substance of Christian marriage. Only a union of two, themselves, are
able to lay claim to the answer of such questions.
But here it is — the Summum Bonum of marriage — at least from
a Christian standpoint. God’s will is that we would give to the other to the
extent that we are able to remain in love with our spouse — that the quotient
of our love would superintendent the past, and we would become lovers of our
lover in the present.
God wants us to be in love with our spouse. He wants us to
do what we need to do to remain in
love.
Too many marriages are rent asunder
because of our inability to remain in love.
And so many marriages might be
predicated on not being in love in the first place.
Men, if we are able to remain in love
with our wives, other women — albeit their inherent attractiveness to us — will
always remain at a distance from our hearts. It is bad enough that we might partake
in an attraction from time to time, but to take part in fantasy is to
extinguish our marital love. We would fall out of love.
The key to falling back in love with
the spouse of God’s choice for us is to be in love — to the point that our
spouse becomes, as they were, the consuming focus of our lives.
It cannot be equalled in the realm of
marriage under God — to be in love with our marriage partner. Satisfaction is
redoubled into contentment because of God’s affirmation for our faithfulness;
hardly a better, more assured state of heart and mind any person could achieve
through grace.
***
Better than sex in Christian marriage
is to be in love. Being in love is the pinnacle of blessing that amounts to an
overflow of blessing in our spouse’s life.
Being in love is the precursor to the
best sex life, but is never conditional on it.
© 2015 S. J. Wickham.
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