When you’re blindsided by that life-changing event

Our beloved mother, grandmother and great-grandmother had a stroke yesterday.  Dad is naturally devastated to watch on as recovery commences.  The whole family has rallied in support of her and it reminds me of how much love this woman has poured into her family over the years.  To be there for our father, grandfather and great-grandfather is also so important; one of the gentlest and kindest souls.

Events like this leave us with lots of questions.  It brings doubts and pressures to bear.  Some things go on hold.  Others are cancelled.  The focus switches to family, first and foremost.  Hospital waiting room conversations and paying costly parking fees becomes the norm.  But all these pales into insignificance if a full recovery can be made.  But there are no guarantees early on.

These events have the potential to create bonds of teamwork but of course there’s the stress too, but it’s like a spirit of cooperation exists because of who Mum and Dad are, who they stand for, and what family mean to my parents.

Thoughts of how things have changed are already apparent, yet we don’t know if that change will remain, and yet we have to adapt to what none of us could see 48 hours ago.

As we gather together as family, we get to share with one another the important things that have been going on in our individual families and lives.  Some really significant things!  How is it that crises bring us together and re-create bonds that were always there?

There are the salient moments where the harsher realities are faced.  These are not to be feared, but they force us to ask whether we wish to trust ourselves to those ever-awkward vulnerabilities — vulnerabilities that people like me say are crucial, inevitable, horrible, yet necessary, but even people like myself find them hard.

We wait without trying to anticipate, for that only leads to anxiety.  We linger and allow ourselves that brief sojourn, for we know it’s the right thing to do, even if it feels a bit unreal.

For now, we adjust to what is happening in our midst, support and love one another, change plans, remain flexible and resist the want to bargain and fix things.  Above all, as Mum would do, I have chosen to trust God.

Photo by Rohan Aggarwal on Unsplash