Listeners experience confidence, wellbeing, and understanding

“When I can really hear someone, it puts me closely in touch with them.  It enriches my life.”
—Carl Rogers

The truth in the above quote comes about in this: we love being successful listeners because it validates us as competent, caring, socially conscious human beings.

Indeed, when we have connected with the other person to the extent of true empathy, warmth, and unconditional positive regard, we experience a significant sense of confidence, wellbeing, and understanding.

When we have listened, and understood, even the hidden meaning, we celebrate in measures of wellbeing hard to replicate.  At the confirmation of the speaker, that we’ve received them accurately, we experience enormous relief and confidence that our care was experienced by them.  We’re relational beings, and we ache for the affirmation of others in our innermost beings.  We feel most ourselves when we see that we’re socially competent.

And when we’ve misunderstood someone, failing to receive their communication, all sorts of barriers come between the two of us.  More than that, we feel horrible for somehow having betrayed (or been betrayed of) the essence of good communication.

Listening is not only good for the communicator of the message; it’s a blessing for the listener, too.

LISTENING IS WORTH THE EFFORT

If there’s one way we can control how people perceive us it’s via our listening ability.  Yet, such an antiquated skill of human interaction is just so hard to execute in a consistent manner; and ever harder if our desire is to be heard rather than to hear.  The mind produces many barriers to listening as it is.

When we listen well, we invite others, if they’re so inclined, to listen to us well, too.  And whilst many people won’t see the blessing in taking up that offer, we as listeners stand to be blessed most spiritually when we find ourselves doing it.

Listening well puts us in a position of confidence, and therefore power.  Not of power over the relationship, but of power to communicate, to achieve authentic rapport, and to facilitate intimacy and trust.  That power is a positive control FOR the relationship.

The attention people pay to us when we relate with comfortable proximity is great recognition; there’s a lot of love in that.  Perhaps it could be a natural extension that a good listener is popular and seen as peaceful within themselves.

The confidence we project is a real confidence given that we don’t need to insist on consuming the vocal bandwidth all the time.  Listening is the blessing of feeling secure enough within ourselves to not need to manipulate people and situations.

THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR A LISTENER

There will never be a shortage of people wanting to share; those with a burden to express themselves.  But there will always be a shortage of listeners, and this is how the listener sets themselves apart in blessed ways.

Not everyone who speaks incessantly is the extrovert, for some are just nervous, and others genuinely think what they have to offer is interesting or of value.  Even when it isn’t.

The listener provides a wonderful outlet in these situations, and many more.  They facilitate other people’s healing by holding space for them which can be filled—such space is freedom for expression, and all safe expression has a healing quality about it.

The listener also learns to listen for the things that aren’t said.  They learn to re-hear the messages of yesterday, checking through reflection, for not all the communication occurs in the moment of the conversation.  Conversation and rapport is a journey as trust is built bit by bit.

Though we have two ears and only one mouth, we typically have people speak twice as much as they listen.  Reversing the trend begins with us if that’s our desire.  There will always be plenty of need.

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Listening brings enrichment.  Focusing on another person conversationally can help us appear as competent, caring, and socially conscious people.  Confidence, peace, and wellbeing, and an enriched understanding are among the blessings received for listening.