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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Making the very most of our romantic-companionate relationships a.k.a. our marriages requires us to spend time together. In the busy routine of life, married couples are often blessed to commit to a date night (or morning or afternoon) once a week.

This is time set aside for fun and an otherwise enjoyable time together.

What to do?

Only both partners together can determine what is appropriate to do on date night, though each might decide to “bless” the other from time to time by giving way to the other partner’s keenly desired activity.

There are also times for couples to spend time together planning their lives together, whether that be the next day or seasonal routines; this type of information exchange shouldn’t intrude on date night unless both enjoy it.

Quality Time

If one or both of you receives love via the ‘quality time’ love language, one night per week devoted to your relationship may still not be enough. If you have the time ‘day dates’ particularly on weekends are also good. Whole afternoons or days together certainly contribute to greater intimacy.

Date night is sacrosanct but not to a point of inflexibility—nights can be swapped but only once you’re in the routine of committing to the dates. Both partners obviously need to be fundamentally and equally committed to it.

Benefits of Date Night

One of the best things about date night are the traditions developed over the months and years as you partake of them; these become great little feeds into a lovely marital history that can be fondly reminisced upon.

Date night is an investment in the past, present and future of a marriage. It contributes to intimacy which in turn augments passion; both of which shore up commitment.


One word of caution regarding dates. (And this might seem obvious, but it’s an easy trap to fall into.) Try not to raise or settle controversial issues or resolve conflict on date night. I can tell from very personal experience, date night can very quickly turn into a disaster that way! It’s best to agree to talk about these things at a specified time later.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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