THE RELATIONAL DYNAMICS IN THE WORKPLACE can be very often tenuous and incredibly malignant. Motives define the causative nature of our hearts with monotonous regularity. None of us can hide it.
Each person’s motives, including those of our own, on any given day—indeed even to the moment, determines much of what we call “history,” the ebb and flow of deeds done in the flesh.
We hardly ever think why people acquaint with or betray us, but it’s always for a purpose—a reason—a situational reason. We become quite confined and very attached to our moments as a general rule. Our moments do manipulate our hearts.
The question we should ask is, ‘Whose side is so-and-so on, and why?’ Or more aptly, ‘Whose side am I on, and why?’
It matters little, actually, as to why—emotively speaking—people take sides, but we should seek to understand why. We should remain curious to know the reasons.
Knowing and being cognisant of the human beings we routinely have to deal with gives us certain advantages—not over them—but for them, and us. We compensate for their weaknesses and our own. Regarding crooked motives, we’re more understanding and therefore more forgiving.
Our expectations are hence fitted more in line with reality. Betrayal is less sensational; we’re hurt less.
The wicked webs we weave are emergent from our subconscious fear and inadequacy as we attempt to bend the rules of life to our gain, in response to our fears. We all tend to do this instinctively, without much thought. An acceptance of this is crucial, firstly, so we accept ourselves and, secondly—and most fundamentally—so we understand our need of a Saviour.
Without being overly evangelistic, the need of a sinless saviour is made obvious when we understand we need acceptance beyond ourselves. Our own acceptance is fine, but it’s inherently limited in value. It’s never really spiritually enough.
We really must try our best in life to come to an understanding that ‘the heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart’ (from J. John). When we truly realise we’re all basically crooked—even though we try our best not to be—we are more tolerant of the people in our workplace, in our families etc. We’re more tolerant of ourselves too.
What might seem initially a ‘doormat compromise’ is soon peace for us and all those we extend this grace to. It really is the only sustainable way to relate with people.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.