Picking Your Gear... for the Extrovert

LIFE’S FULL OF RELATIONAL UPHILLS AND DOWNHILLS. There are times when we’re full of confidence and rapport with almost everyone is going really well. There are other times when we’re low on confidence and self-esteem; times when we can’t comfortably look people in the eye.

There is an extra challenge in all of this for the extrovert. They’re naturally geared to engaging with the world. Both during high times and low times they can make the mistake of either being overly-confident or of being abjectly confused as to how they’ll interact.

But, again, as we ‘pick the right gear’ for each interaction with our peers and others its really about 1) where we’re at personally, 2) where they’re at personally (so far as we can intuit), and 3) how we’re going collectively—as a unit.

Central to this is trust and respect. How trusting we both are, individually and added together, will comprise the “grade” we’re facing. If good levels of trust exist between us and them, respect is a given and trust and respect flows; we can afford to choose a high, confident gear—and we should—maximising the growth potential for this relationship at this time.

If we find ourselves and this relationship, however, at a lower ebb of trust and respect—and this can happen suddenly for millions of reasons unbeknownst to us—we are best to choose that more conservative gear, and even get off the saddle as we negotiate this situational “uphill.” The extra work we do in the lower, more humble gear will stand us in good stead for the future.

Now, again, both extroverts and introverts deal differently with these things. Extroverts will tend to travel really well when relationships are at a high ebb—maximisation and transcendence are their by-words.

It is a wise thing, therefore, for the extrovert to exercise prudence and much discretion in their lower gear; first by selection, then by implementing the slowly-but-surely way of restoring the vital trust and respect.

The biggest skill for anyone in all this is reading the relationship; then, picking the right gear.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.