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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Hard Date

Romance; we’d all like to think that every date in steady partnership will flow with milk and honey. Then we get a grip after a hard date or three.

To every partnership comes the evening; not of day into evening, but of the grounding that occurs to get the relationship back on the ‘reality track’.

Romance is lovely whilst it lasts, but the façade is an unbearable blemish on truth the longer it goes. Once both partners are finally able to be free with one another—certain indiscretions accounted for and accepted—the relationship finally blossoms.

Upon advisement, and with permission to share, we’ve had some very hard dates, my wife and I. Times when she’s ended up in tears and I’ve been left annoyed (firstly regarding the issue(s) that started it and later with myself for upsetting her). I’m reliably informed we’ve even had a ‘mini-season’ of hard dates!

And this is good to know.

Firstly, because we got through that hard season and learned more about how to approach them. Dates are not dates unless they’re fun; a necessary departure from the staid and pressured motioning of life.

They’re not the occasion to bring up issues related to finances, the kids, work, other people or anything else, but otherwise it’s a time to relax with our soul-mate and best friend.

I’m convinced I’m not the only cretin-of-a-man or woman around. I’m also convinced that all couples approach such troubled waters and have horrendous dates, retreats and holidays—good times planned otherwise turning disastrous.

We must hold on, learn, forgive, laugh and eventually try again.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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