“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
We draw our power from any number of sources, both good and evil. So, therefore, can we reach a part of acceptance—the outcome of forgiveness—without actually forgiving? I think not.
‘Stuff’ happens to us in life, and it’s generally through people we’re hurt by these things, either via people going against us, via a myriad form of betrayal, or the losses we have related to people and loved ones; therefore we can be ‘betrayed’ by God, i.e. people choose to hold it against God (when really they’re only holding it against themselves).
The maladaptive response is resentment; otherwise a choice to remain in the past, which necessarily constricts the future.
Acceptance is the ‘Word’ of Note
If the only way to throw our futures to the dogs is to choose a salacious resentment as main course then the way to attract a freshened future is via plain acceptance.
This is a process; a journey in and of itself.
We cannot arrive at acceptance overnight—that, for people who care, would be lazy and less than diligent. We’re tempted to envelope resentment because we care so much.
It therefore requires of us the courage-of-persistence to endure the journey.
But we must still find our way to acceptance so we can move on, into a future that is bright and light and full of hope; the future always beckons with the positive unknown (if we’ll only see it).
Forgiveness – the Process
Who can even suggest a process for forgiveness? How do we solve a confounding mystery? Mysteries, here, are God’s specialty, but we can’t afford to leave it there—our lives depend on forgiveness.
If our opportunities of forgiveness are dependent on God we choose God’s way and we run hard after it.
We take in whatever we can to make the differences we need to make. This includes prayer, for telling God what we really want and need is something that will ensure God can and does provide it for us. We’re raw and ‘real’ with God. We also listen to God’s still and silent voice in humility. If we’re confused about this, we invest in our relationship with God—we’ll find out what we can do. Our focus becomes about God.
And God shows us what is important. People are important. Our hurts God heals, but with people we’re also to heal—our relationships must be peaceful as far as it depends on us. And if peace isn’t possible, we accept this is the best we can do. Again, this is a journey. We must have faith when we embark, we will reach our destination.
Acceptance is self love—a crucial thing to move on in our relationship with God.
Acceptance—of our situations, pasts and our very selves—is dazzling brightness for our futures.
© 2010 S. J. Wickham.