Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can’t Live Without ‘Em

“You can’t live with ‘em, you can’t live without ‘em. There’s something irresistible-ish about ‘em.”

~Rowlf the Dog, The Muppet Movie, 1979.

Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship—and that would be almost all of us—can smile wryly in congruence with the words of this quick tune from The Muppet Movie.

Female or male, young or old, wise and unwise; all sense how basically difficult it is for two people to join together as one. For all the times of passion and intimacy—commitment abounding—there too are the times of shrieking amazement and confounding discontentment... with one’s mate (and they too with us!). And not least, also with ourselves in the context of relationship at times.

For singles it’s our relationship with God and with the closest of friends that prods us this way. Genuinely, none of us escapes this relational blowtorch.

Taking a Step Back

As God in the mix of troubled life is a mystery, so too are relationships. Sometimes both are beyond us, but at least we can all appreciate this truth and it somewhat de-mystifies the mystery—the acceptance of same.

Taking a step back, then, we can readily see that relationship conflict is not a thing to be avoided or resolved with any sense of finalisation. It is rather a thing to be enjoyed with the rest of life.

Difference is the spice of life. We wouldn’t grow if it weren’t for difference and challenge.

Some Things Are Unfixable – This Is Good

The interchange between Kermit the Frog and Rowlf the Dog in The Muppet Movie shows us that we cannot ‘fix’ our lives in contentment beyond God, by designing happiness into our relationships.

We have to otherwise make good with what we have through the wisdom of selection, communication, relational compromise and acceptance.

If we do not do this we’ll forever be bouncing back ‘n’ forth saying, “Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.”

And this isn’t the blessed life we and our partners are destined for. Again, for singles, harmony in relationship with God and close others is possible.

It always begins and ends with us.

The funniest thing is, when we finally determine through active surrender that we can’t possibly, of ourselves, fix this quandary, it is somehow fixed for us... we just obeyed God and God proved something to us.

With some things possibility rests with God alone.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.