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Friday, September 24, 2010

Wise and Vital Compromises

In order for two to become one there must be dual commitment early on and – give or take – all the way through.

It occurred to me recently that for at least some people who might continue through life on a trajectory of singleness, there could be the hint of insufficient compromise to make a relationship with a particular person commence. This is not about those who’d be desperate to give any reasonable relational compromise a try.

There is a sharp difference between not entering into an unwise partnering and simply not taking up the cudgels related to reasonable, or unselfish, compromise.

Compromise is necessary in relationships; to allow them to commence, develop and continue.

The Difference Between Success and Failure

For many who’ve long sought a relationship there might be times of sad reflection for that moment in time, where we chose one path, and there are recurrent thoughts of “what might have been” had a different decision been made. I think we’ve all been there. It’s certainly true for myself.

Of course, we’ve known the opposite reality also; that we are so thankful for the wise choices we did make.

Success does, however, require some level of compromise, and we do it in faith, in the hope that that action of trust we sent their way might be returned.

Two As One

It would be hard to imagine the biblical image of marriage—that of a “one flesh” reality (see Genesis 2:24)—or more extraneously, for any partnership—to operate with any real and lasting effect with the compromise going more one way than the other.

But relationships seesaw, don’t they? Things are hardly ever perfectly balanced.

But, then again, compromises, relationally-speaking, are acts of faith, and faith when it’s good is based in love. A love-held faith knows no end. It keeps trying and doesn’t get despondent. By virtue of this victorious reality, then, faith holds sway in the compromise, and godly influence is very often foisted over the relationship. Blessing is often the outcome.

This sort of compromise attends gracefully to the ebb and flow known to all relationships.

Compromises – Initial and Lasting

The key point is some compromises—however small they appear at the time—have significant and lasting consequences. We always need to be willing to bend to another person if we feel our future might be assured in their presence.

This, however, involves quite a copious portion of wisdom to separate out the rare wheat from the very common-place chaff in the field of candidates.

Lasting compromise is very simply the work of humility of character in each partner—and that, over the long haul.

© 2010 S. J. Wickham.

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